Relashionship...sex?!?

[zen]

Relashionship sinking !?
I am a 17 year old college girl. My ''bf'' is now 21. My family is not conservative, my mother and father and not from the same religion and so we are not religious at all...Yet I believe in sex after marriage.
My bf's family is VERY conservative, we've being together for 3 years now and i am madly in love with him, and he is too.
I know that his dream is being with me in the future..yet he is afraid that our diffrences may come in our way, so he wnts me to become a little more conservative ( clothes, guy friends...)
He belives that if i am his, sex is not an issue. ( so he belives that we can have sex before marriage IF we want to be together forvever wich is the case)

But, a couple of days ago he mentioned wanting to have sex, knowing that I do not want to, I do not feel ready yet.
So he told me that if i am not conservative, sex should not be a problem, and If I am conservative, then we should get engaged, because thats what conservative pple do.
If I do not want to have sex, and do not want to get engaged at an early age, then I myt as well **** off.

I was shoked. I am still. We have been together for 3 years, he is my neighbour and we do EVERYTHING TOGETHER..(shopping, eating.....) It's like we are already married...butu without the sex part

Anyways, I told him that I do not want to have sex, and that i do not want to get engaged because at 17 I am not sure I can make a decision like that + common its awkward eveb if I love him !
He told me not to call him anymore...
I dont know what to do, I love him and want to be with him and want him to undertand me...
I feel I cannot breath if hes not around yet cnt handle wat he wants..
what do u think I must do?
I cnt handle not being with him, its too hard !!! =(

 

[Nikki]

It sounds like he's just been waiting til you were old enough to try to get into your pants. He thinks that now you're old enough to finally have sex, so he wants the both of you to do it. But he has NO reason to break up with you. He obviously doesn't love you if he is breaking up with you because you don't want to do it and because you don't think you're ready for marriage. You are SO not ready for marriage!! You're too young for that!
But if he doesn't understand you and refuses to be with you until you agree to his demands, then dump him. He's trying to manipulate you!!! "You have to be conservative" "You have to think about getting married with me" "You have to blah blah blah!"

He's trying to get you to listen to everything he says. Trust me, you don't want to be with a guy like this. And he's 21?! He's too old for you, hun. He doesn't love you. At least, he doesn't ACT like he does. But if you really love him and you think that you need him, then listen to his demands. But that would be a big MISTAKE!!! dump him!!!! Do not give in to his demands because if one day you guys do get married, he'll think that he'll be able to control you and rule your life. Only one person should rule your life, and that person is YOU!

Good luck, hun!