Well actually I have two poemish pieces and I'd like constructive criticism but I guess not too mean. Maybe thats kinda hypocritical but oh well. And these haven't been published but they've been copywrited.
Thanx
Like the Sun
My Creator
Like the Sun
He lights my path
And warms my body
Without him
No life would exist
And our hearts would go cold
Though sometimes
He will be hidden behind a cloud
And day will always change to night
Somehow we know
He’s out there
And he’ll be back again tomorrow
Untitled (for right now)
Inside looking outward
On this place we’ve been accustomed
Thinking of it as a whole
But pondering each and every piece
Figuring the secrets
Searching for the truth
Points of view
Differences in opinion
Change our thinking
Change our mind
Change our path
Inside looking outward
On this place we’ve been accustomed
Let me rephrase the first one maybe:
Like the Sun
It lights my path
And warms my body
Without it
No life would exist
And our hearts would go cold
Though sometimes
It will be hidden behind a cloud
And day will always change to night
Somehow we know
It’s out there
And it’ll be back again tomorrow
My Creator, like the Sun
Thanx
Like the Sun
My Creator
Like the Sun
He lights my path
And warms my body
Without him
No life would exist
And our hearts would go cold
Though sometimes
He will be hidden behind a cloud
And day will always change to night
Somehow we know
He’s out there
And he’ll be back again tomorrow
Untitled (for right now)
Inside looking outward
On this place we’ve been accustomed
Thinking of it as a whole
But pondering each and every piece
Figuring the secrets
Searching for the truth
Points of view
Differences in opinion
Change our thinking
Change our mind
Change our path
Inside looking outward
On this place we’ve been accustomed
Let me rephrase the first one maybe:
Like the Sun
It lights my path
And warms my body
Without it
No life would exist
And our hearts would go cold
Though sometimes
It will be hidden behind a cloud
And day will always change to night
Somehow we know
It’s out there
And it’ll be back again tomorrow
My Creator, like the Sun