Ramadan: Is It Haram To Complain or Vent About our Probelms?

[~Curiously_Undercover~]

should we just say Alhamdulillah knowing that there are others that have life much much worse?

because im tired....and feel like getting everything off my chest. and doing so would be a HUGE list, but i dont wanna waste my time writing up the list, and end up getting sins for it.

 

[Ayman H]

we should say alhamdulillah because we live in luxury and we are here on earth. i have heard that it is bad to complain because other poeple have much worse so we should thank allah and ask allah to take your problems away

 

[justmeish]

I don't think it is wrong to vent, as the opposite would be holding everything inside and bottling it up. Which most understand is not a healthy way to deal with problems or frustrations.

I think it is all in how you vent and get things off your chest. Doing anything on your own, like making a list or even writing until you feel you've got it all out, is actually a great way to vent. When it's something you make for your own eyes, and your own piece of mind, there's no harm in writing everything that pours out. There's no chance you're going to hurt anyone else with your words, even unintentionally (as we call all sometimes do when we vent to other people). And you can even go back to it a few days later, look over your list or whatever you wrote, and possibly understand some things or find solutions you didn't have before.

The only thing you really have to be careful with is when you want to vent to other people. This is usually where people get themselves into trouble. If you're in the middle of venting, and you work yourself up so that your almost shoving all of your problems out in words, it's easy to make a mistake and say something that (later) you wish you would have kept to yourself. It's good to keep in mind that no matter how much you think you can trust someone to listen and keep it to themselves, it's ultimately up to you not to say something that would hurt others.

And yes, while you should always be thankful, that doesn't mean you have to ignore things that bother you. Just be careful in how you get your problems off your chest, so that you can be thankful that you feel better afterwards, rather than feel worse because you might have done something wrong.

A lot of times you will find once you get everything out it is easier to understand your problems compared to others, and so being thankful is even easier than before.

 

[New Muslimah]

JEWELS OF QURAN

Sura (Chapter) 23 was revealed during Muhammad’s life in Mecca before his Hijrah or Emigration from his home city to Medina in AD 622. During the early years of his ministry, he never waged war on anyone, so these were times of peace, although he suffered from a measure of persecution. For more information on the historical and the literary topical contexts of Sura 23, click here.

The Quran in Sura 23:5-6 says:

5 [Most certainly true believers] . . . guard their private parts scrupulously, 6 except with regard to their wives and those who are legally in their possession, for in that case they shall not be blameworthy. (Sayyid Abul A’La Maududi, The Meaning of the Quran, vol. 3, p. 237)

The key words are "those who are legally in their possession." Maududi (d. 1979) is a highly respected commentator on the Quran, and he interprets the plain meaning of the clause, saying that sex with slave-girls is lawful.


10. A husband has sex with his wife, as a plow goes into a field.

The Quran in Sura (Chapter) 2:223 says:

Your women are your fields, so go into your fields whichever way you like . . . . (MAS Abdel Haleem, The Qur’an, Oxford UP, 2004)

9. Husbands are a degree above their wives.

The Quran in Sura 2:228 says:

. . . Wives have the same rights as the husbands have on them in accordance with the generally known principles. Of course, men are a degree above them in status . . . (Sayyid Abul A’La Maududi, The Meaning of the Qur’an, vol. 1, p. 165)

8. A male gets a double share of the inheritance over that of a female.

The Quran in Sura 4:11 says:

The share of the male shall be twice that of a female . . . . (Maududi, vol. 1, p. 311)

7. A woman’s testimony counts half of a man’s testimony.

The Quran in Sura 2:282 says:

And let two men from among you bear witness to all such documents [contracts of loans without interest]. But if two men be not available, there should be one man and two women to bear witness so that if one of the women forgets (anything), the other may remind her. (Maududi, vol. 1, p. 205).

6. A wife may remarry her ex—husband if and only if she marries another man and then this second man divorces her.

The Quran in Sura 2:230 says:

And if the husband divorces his wife (for the third time), she shall not remain his lawful wife after this (absolute) divorce, unless she marries another husband and the second husband divorces her. [In that case] there is no harm if they [the first couple] remarry . . . . (Maududi, vol. 1, p. 165)

5. Slave—girls are sexual property for their male owners.

The Quran in Sura 4:24 says:

And forbidden to you are wedded wives of other people except those who have fallen in your hands [as prisoners of war] . . . (Maududi, vol. 1, p. 319).

4. A man may be polygamous with up to four wives.

The Quran in Sura 4:3 says:

And if you be apprehensive that you will not be able to do justice to the orphans, you may marry two or three or four women whom you choose. But if you apprehend that you might not be able to do justice to them, then marry only one wife, or marry those who have fallen in your possession. (Maududi, vol. 1, p. 305)

3. A husband may simply get rid of one of his undesirable wives.

The Quran in Sura 4:129 says:

It is not within your power to be perfectly equitable in your treatment with all your wives, even if you wish to be so; therefore, [in order to satisfy the dictates of Divine Law] do not lean towards one wife so as to leave the other in a state of suspense. (Maududi, vol. 1, p. 381)

2. Husbands may hit their wives even if the husbands merely fear highhandedness in their wives (quite apart from whether they actually are highhanded).

The Quran in Sura 4:34 says:

4:34 . . . If you fear highhandedness from your wives, remind them [of the teaching of God], then ignore them when you go to bed, then hit them. If they obey you, you have no right to act against them. God is most high and great. (Haleem, emphasis added)

1. Mature men are allowed to marry prepubescent girls.

The Quran in Sura 65:1, 4 says:

65:1 O Prophet, when you [and the believers] divorce women, divorce them for their prescribed waiting—period and count the waiting—period accurately . . . 4 And if you are in doubt about those of your women who have despaired of menstruation, (you should know that) their waiting period is three months, and the same applies to those who have not menstruated as yet. As for pregnant women, their period ends when they have delivered their burden. (Maududi, vol. 5, pp. 599 and 617, emphasis added)

Holy Quran, 13:2380:

The Prophet Mohammed(PBUH) used to kiss the little girl ayesha and suck her tongue when he was fasting.