Caged Dancer
New member
What's the best way to go about talking to someone about your sex life? (In this case, my husband.) Our sex life has been far less than satisfying. I have a difficult time talking with him about it nowadays, whereas it didn't seem that I use to. He talks about it not at all. It's gotten to the point where I don't even find sex enjoyable at all. The things I use to like 6 years ago are not the same things that I like now, or at least, I'm ready for a change. He asks me why I don't enjoy sex, I've told him I enjoy it well enough. It's not as adventurous or "changed up" as I wish I were. It's always the same routine. I enjoy the closeness, but I never look forward to sex. He never noticed for the longest time that I didn't ever orgasm or come. Only after I told him that I never did and have only done so once or twice while with him, of course he was hurt but he wanted the truth. Of course he asked why and I told him it was because it didn't do it for me by sex alone. I've told him hundreds of times before that clitoral stimulation was what did it for me. He either never bothers or is just so rough with me that it completely turns me off to is touch. I reminded him of this fact about me last week when we finally talked again about everything, that I like a slow, gentle touch. He said he understood, but yesterday he was so rough with me that I actually found that I was bleeding a bit afterward. I definitely didn't get any pleasure from any of it. I tried to tell him while it was going on without killing his ego or the mood, I would move his hand further up to where the clitoris is, or I would try and slow him down or pull his hand away a bit to lighten the touch. Finally I gave up and just straddled him and got it over with. I went to the restroom after and found that I was bleeding, but not a lot. Just a bit from the agitation...
I think he's confused. He knows I like rough sex, I'm even heavy into BDSM, but when it comes to being touched intimately, it has to be gentle. As I said, I've told him this a great many number of times.
So I ask again now that I've given the story of it all: how can I talk to him without feeling uncomfortable and make him feel comfortable? How can I talk to him without bruising his ego? How can I get through to him about what I do and don't like? And, has anyone else had this issue with their boyfriend/husband/lover?
I think he's confused. He knows I like rough sex, I'm even heavy into BDSM, but when it comes to being touched intimately, it has to be gentle. As I said, I've told him this a great many number of times.
So I ask again now that I've given the story of it all: how can I talk to him without feeling uncomfortable and make him feel comfortable? How can I talk to him without bruising his ego? How can I get through to him about what I do and don't like? And, has anyone else had this issue with their boyfriend/husband/lover?