Thanks KillPanic
I totally agree: It is good to make certain changes, not all. But in terms of my life now, change is essential and good. I am in the position I am in now precisely because I let anxiety take over my life, not intentionally, of course, but I started to avoid things I used to really enjoy because they began to provoke anxiety (which for me usually causes insomnia and subsequent exhaustion, more anxiety, and loss of appetite--ug!!)
I think I started out by avoiding travel because it made me anxious to sleep places other than my home (I know, it sounRAB crazy.) This was a disater because I actually really love travelling and have done a lot of in the past, so avoiding it made me depressed, and of course, made the anxiety of being away from home even stronger. I used to be an EXTREMELY adventurous person, so the fact that I developed this bizzare phobia still baffles me. It wasn;t that I was afraid so much of being away from home, in fact, I wanted desperately to travel still, but I just thought that it would or could cause anxiety/panic and I would loose control or go nuts or something. Basically, I psyched myself out. So weird.
After a bad break up everything just got so much worse, the anxiety, the OCD, the depression, and I sort of stopped trying to do anything but survive the days. While I realize that sounRAB dramatic, in essense it is true; I got so chronically anxious and depressed (oscillating between both extremes) that I was too exhausted all the time from just managing my symptoms and
monitoring my mooRAB that I stopped living life: I stopped dating (I am only 29!) stopped looking for jobs, graduate programs, anything that required great effort or focus I seemingly lost the ability to do, in turn, I got really low and really lost. I even quit my job and got one that was completely off-track for me and unrewarding, it was a disastrous 2 years.
Finally, after a year of intensive therapy, I decided enough was enough, and decided to try meRAB. I figure if I can get some help from them, stop being so controlled by my mooRAB or whatever, then I can get my life back on track: I can get myself back. So that is where I am at now, rebuilding my life and all that I neglected and all that was injured when I got so down. It's a lot of work and I am afraid of how much I have to make up for, but on the other hand, it feels great too finally be ready to take my life back. I can't believe it ever got so bad. Has anyone else expereinced this, what should I call it?: Loss of time because of anxiety/depression??
Sorry for the rant, guess I had a lot on my mind, feeling kinda sad about how much I have lost, how much work there is just to get back where i was. I know I can do it though! Thanks for listening!
I was actually put on it to see if it would calm me down enough to bring my bp down, and so far it seems to be working, bp has been the best in the last couple of weeks that it has been in 11 years. Sorry I can't answer your question about insomnia, I take something for that. Prozac has affected my appetite somewhat, my clothes seem to be a little looser, hope this answers some of your questions.