Problems with my future sister-in-law...how to proceed?

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imported_Blue Turtle

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First and foremost, try to never develop harsh thoughts against her. This will only hurt you. Secondly, always be polite, and try your best to stay away. When she comes in front, be polite, and with time, things change.

Good luck :)
 
If your "brother in law" were engaged to a woman, that woman, would have to be your sister (or brother in some states). Siblings of those who your siblings marry are not technically your relatives by marriage. Take solace in this fact and smile through it.
 
My brother in law is engaged to a woman who is crazy. We all know women like this...they are manipulating, narcissistic, self-important, and mentally unstable. She is nasty to my mother in law and after she threw a fit at my wedding because she wasn't in the wedding pictures (my husband and I had agreed to no boyfriends/girlfriends in posed family photos and they were just dating at the time) I haven't really spoken to her. Now they're engaged and I have to see her at family events...It's going to kill me to be nice. I really don't know how to handle this nut job.
 
Well...we all have family members or in-laws that we really don't care for, just be glad that your not the one married to this person. Show her respect, but you don't need to go out of your way to be friendly with this person or even spend time with her.
 
you just described me... ok so here is what drives me nuts. be nice, sweet as can be and do NOT ever let her know that any of her actions or comments get under your skin. she likes to get a rise out of people and to control thier emotions and generally enjoys upseting people so don't let her. make it like she is not even important enough to dislike, so don't ever talk badly about her or anything to anyone. i swear it will drive her nuts and the best part is there is no way for her to make you the bad guy because you didn't do anything but be friendly.
 
First and foremost, try to never develop harsh thoughts against her. This will only hurt you. Secondly, always be polite, and try your best to stay away. When she comes in front, be polite, and with time, things change.

Good luck :)
 
People like this are rarely a "surprise" to others.
Stay cordial and don't get involved with her drama.
If people stop feeding into her she'll get no fuel.
It is VERY difficult to sit back and watch our loved ones get abused, but unless it directly involves you I would do my best to remain distant and not get involved in fighting someone else's battles.
Take the high road always.
 
You aren't the only one who feels this way, Just be the bigger person and be friendly. If only a few hours, it wont kill you to be decent. I have a relative like this, ( she's actually coming to stay this weekend for thanksgiving ) and I just smile and change the subejct when she does something stupid or says something cruel. Most of the people around you won't really catch you being rude, and they'd just overlook the obvious anyways with her, so your'e safe with that one. Just as long as you aren't mocking her, rolling your eyes or speaking too loudly, you should be able to grin and bear it.
 
My brother in law married a psycho JUST like that... they have been together for 10 friggin' years and she is STILL torturing all of us with her nastiness.

I have no advice - we are all suffering with no end in sight. If you think of something that may help let ME know!
 
This "nut job" is going to be in your family, so its time to accept her.
You do not have to live with her, your brother in law does. Do not ruin it for him. They just might make it.
 
Yes we do know women like this, my sister in law is a little on the edge, I have learned to live with her since she has been married to my brother for 25 years. Its his life and he has learned to put up with her because she is so jealous of him being with his sisters and mother. My sister trys to avoid her like the plague, but what can you do we love our brother so we put up with her on special events.
 
Sounds like a nightmare! For your familys sake you are going to have to try to take the higher road. People like that are just tests that we have to decide how the hell we are going to pass. You were totally in the right to not have her in the wedding pictures. I would definitely stand by that one. What if he got rid of the nut job??? All of your wedding photos would have been ruined forever. You can tell shes crazy just by her throwing a fit. Who does that?? Anyway, try your hardest to not get into it with her and you will be able to hold your head high. Good luck!
 
just ignore her at family events. i bet you will not be the only one that will.

the way she acts,she probably will not be in the family very long anyway.
 
Yes we do know women like this, my sister in law is a little on the edge, I have learned to live with her since she has been married to my brother for 25 years. Its his life and he has learned to put up with her because she is so jealous of him being with his sisters and mother. My sister trys to avoid her like the plague, but what can you do we love our brother so we put up with her on special events.
 
just ignore her at family events. i bet you will not be the only one that will.

the way she acts,she probably will not be in the family very long anyway.
 
First and foremost, try to never develop harsh thoughts against her. This will only hurt you. Secondly, always be polite, and try your best to stay away. When she comes in front, be polite, and with time, things change.

Good luck :)
 
Sounds like a nightmare! For your familys sake you are going to have to try to take the higher road. People like that are just tests that we have to decide how the hell we are going to pass. You were totally in the right to not have her in the wedding pictures. I would definitely stand by that one. What if he got rid of the nut job??? All of your wedding photos would have been ruined forever. You can tell shes crazy just by her throwing a fit. Who does that?? Anyway, try your hardest to not get into it with her and you will be able to hold your head high. Good luck!
 
This "nut job" is going to be in your family, so its time to accept her.
You do not have to live with her, your brother in law does. Do not ruin it for him. They just might make it.
 
just ignore her at family events. i bet you will not be the only one that will.

the way she acts,she probably will not be in the family very long anyway.
 
Well I would feel like a loser if someone told me not to be in a pic to lol But just let her know where you stand and maybe she will stay away but maybe if you let her in the pic they wouldnt be getting married lol
 
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