Pretty impressive poem by my brother

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I lost all I had in a split second
I refused your generous omen
I owe you still for the warning
Regardless that I ignored it
What shall I do to prove to you
That I am sincere in my regret?
What can I do when all I have
Is this pessimistic minRABet?
I lost all I had so fast
I was rich
I blinked
Opened my eyes to the other side
I try to remember my past
But my thoughts are dominated by my poverty, I'm ever aware of my poverty

But.
Give me time, I will return
I will be at the top once more
and beyond where I was before
I will push to a level never seen
Billions will be jokes to me
I lost all I had in a split second
I will gain it back in less

[INSERT UNSPECIFIED PERIOD OF TIME HERE]

I told you I'd be here one day
Nothing above me, nothing in my way
I told you I still owe you
Now I shall pay you for the prophecy
With one of my own
I am now too a prophet, and I've seen where you will go:

The Prophecy of The Prophet
Prophet, you will travel
No, not like you have, though worldly travels you've had
Spiritually you shall move
Ghost-like, if you will
Prophet, you shall gamble
Take risks necessary to your cause
Yet succeed in them all
Now, Prophet, I know what you think
These aren't risks if I've told you that you will succeed
Yet, Prophet, the most important part when listening to this prophecy
Is to make sure that you don't listen to me​




Written by my 12-year old bro. not bad for a tweeny, huh? doesn't make a lot of sense to me but way better than anything I could write at 12 :p
 
Damn... thats some pretty intense shit for a 12 year old to be writing about.. seems like hes already been through a lot in his life if hes writing like that. I know i could never write like that when I was younger, I feel like all I ever thought about was stupid shit like playing with my frienRAB and girls. Not that thats stupid when you're 12 haha, but certainly isn't deeply meaningful either.

Seems like he wants to conquer something really badly from what I understood from it. Pretty well written for sure.
 
This really is pretty good.

The [INSERT UNSPECIFIED PERIOD OF TIME HERE] thing is a little dodgy, but other than that it's well structured. Though in a song, you could have like a really long instrumental part to represent the passing of time.
 
That's amazing for a 12 year old, I cringe to think of the first stuff I posted on here back in 04 when I was what...14.
 
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