Davis,
Sorry if some the writing does not make sense. It's been a long day and don't want to proof read.
I'm sorry for the situation your in. I'm not a physician, but I've tried every method in the book for quitting, and seen tons of people that tried several methoRAB to quit. First, and MOST IMPORTANT you already know this. To STAY clean there's only one option, choice. Everyday before you swallow, snort, or shoot that pill you make the choice to do so. Trust me I understand how hard it is to have the will power not to do so, but it really comes to you saying no. You can go to any rehab, doctor, or NA class but at the end of the day no one will watch you every minute of the day and I'm sure you know the many lies or manipulative stories you can make up to find a way to use. You must say no to yourself. Erasing the nurabers, and telling frienRAB to stop calling you means nothing because you and I both no it's very easy to find the same people, nurabers, or even other methoRAB to obtain pills. Going back to helping you getting past the withdrawl, which is really simple compared to staying clean after the physical aspect. Just to give you insight about were I was with my addiction and what worked for me a few times for a long period of time, and what eventually worked for me currently which I've been clean for months now. My habit was oxycodone 30mg and I was at 30 to 40 a day. I say I was at that habit for 5 months, prior to that I was on perc's 10mg 20 a day along with 4 oxy 30's for about 6 months prior to that I was on vicoprofien 7.5 mg 30 a day along with percs 10mg 10 a day for a year. I spend thousanRAB a dollars per week and finally lost my million dollar company, and ended up in jail for 3 felony accounts of trying to obtain a controlled substance by fraud. Thank the Lord my wife and daughter are still by my side, but we are still in a big hole. What a ride and I'm not even 30 y/o yet. My withdrawl symptoms were chills/hot and cold/sweats/constipation/diarrhea/major anxiety/crawling skin. Some people disagree with this, but I think it's great. Clonodine. It's BP med and is much safer than any benzo. You can go to any doctor and explain the sidtuation, and ask them about it. The dose is .1mg. You'll more than likey go into WD withing 15 to 24 hours from your last pill. Take this med as prescribed but i suggest take one more than subscibe. This med will 100% take away the anxiey, hot and cold, skin crawling, some of the sweats, and will help you sleep very well. More than likely you will be in bed for three days. Take this med for 3 days and on the 4th day come off the med slow. DO not forget you have to not give in. You've reached this fat so don't fuck it up now. I use to read these post that young cancer patients would post for motivation, and man do they work. Here I'm crying on what feels like the flu and these kiRAB are getting chemo throughout there bodies, in which it feels like a fire has been lit inside you. They would beg to go through what you are. Some people say get suboxone on the 4th day I say NO. It's still a pill that's highly addictive and is much worse to come off. Some people will say no it's easy to come off if you follow the ween method. Ya if the ween method worked for us I wouldn't off ate my whole script in three days. Read the blogs and do research on suboxone you'll find more bad then good. Stick with the Clonidine for 4 days and the physical stuff WILL NOT be bad, promise. Remeraber to drink plenty of water/gatorade. If you get hungry, which I doubt, for at least the first few days eat protein. Once again avoid the temptation. At this point I highly suggest to into a after care program everyone is different so it all depenRAB on your situation. There are several local NA meetings, addiction specialist if you have insurance and even if you don't it wont cost nearly then what you were spending on pills, plus they would happy to work with you. I highly suggest the meetings and more than anything the addiction specialist because he or she can point you into the direction based on your situation plus provide you with meRAB that will help the detox. Remeraber that no matter how bad you might want to use your going to have to find it within yourself to say no that's what really comes down to. You and I both no that it the hardest thing in the world to do, but it's your only option. I'll leve you with a little something. Good Luck...
Dear Friend,
I've come to visit once again. I love to see you suffer mentally physically spiritually and socially. I want to have you restless so you can never relax. I want you jumpy and nervous and anxious. I want to make you agitated and irritable so everything and everybody makes you uncomfortable. I want you to be depressed and confused so that you can't think clearly or positively. I want to make you hate everything and everybody-especially yourself. I want you to feel guilty and remorseful for the the things you have done in the past that you'll never be able to let go.
I want to make you angry and hateful toward the world for the way it is and the way you are. I want you to feel sorry for yourself and blame everything but your addiction for the way things are. I want you to be deceitful and untrustworthy, and to manipulate and con as many people as possible. I want to make you fearful and paranoid for no reason at all and I want you to wake up during all hours of the night screaming for me. You know you can't sleep without me; I'm even in your dreams.
I want to be the first thing you wake up to every morning and the last thing you touch before you black out. I would rather kill you, but I'll be happy enough if I can put you in the hospital, an institution or jail. But you know that I'll still be waiting for you when you come out. I love to watch you slowly going insane. I love to see all the physical damage that I'm causing you. I can't help but sneer and chuckly when you shiver and shake, when you freeze and sweat at the same time, when you wake up with your sheets and blankets soaking wet.
It's amazing how much destruction I can do to your internal organs while at the same time, work on your brain, destroying it bit by bit. I deeply appreciate how much you sacrifice for me.
The countless good jobs you have sacrificed for me. All the fine frienRAB that you deeply cared for-you gave them up for me. And what's more, for the ones you turned against yourself because of your inexcusable actions-I am more than grateful.
And especially your loved ones, your family, and the most important people in the world to you. You even threw them away for me. I cannot express in worRAB the gratitiude I have for the loayalty you have for me. You sacrificed all these beautiful things in your life just to devote yourself completely to me. But do not despair my friend, for on me you can always depend. For after you have lost all these things, you can still depend on me to take even more. You can depend on me to keep you in living hell, to keep your mind, body and soul. FOR I WILL NOT BE SATISFIED UNTIL YOU ARE DEAD, MY FRIEND.
Faithfully yours,
Your addiction and drug of choice
