Pregnant Addict needs Help...

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leilanbabies

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I am addicted to opiates. I start with that because it seems to be the single most important thing in my life. I am also 25 years old and a mother of 3 with another due in July and recently married to the love of my life who happens to be the kindest most understanding sensitive but a$$ kicking motivated man Ive ever been with. Im not going to tell you how I got addicted because its pretty obvious but I will tell you that its been the better part of 4 years that I've been on Opiates. I recently became a client at the suboxone clinic which was going great until i failed miserably because....You guessed it, I'm an addict. I smoke pot for my anxiety, it helps me sleep. Also, I was in the hospital on 2 separate occasions last month due to Severe vomiting, stomach pain, fever and chills. They had me on 3 different narcotics while admitted for pain management and then gave me a prescription for percocet (YAY) when I Left. So I did what any other opiate junkie would do and I filled it, quit the suboxone and am now back on pills. I failed to tell my nurse/ counselor at the program what happened because as an addict, I didnt think she would believe me. So at my appt last week, I brought in my hospital recorRAB from my stays during those 2 times and showed her that I wasnt using, It was a legitimate issue tended to by medical professionals and then I told her I was pregnant. At which time she pointed out to me that A. I failed my tox screen, B. My THC level also was higher than the last time (tsk tsk) and C. that Dr. Suboxone Guy does not prescribe to pregnant women. So then they refer me to one of their other doctors at a different office who, BIG SURPRISE never calls me back. So, now I am at wits end, buying suboxone off the street to try to stay clean and stave the withdrawals from all the other pills I have been buying ( OC, PERC, DILAUDID). Soooooo, my questions are these: WHAT CAN I DO? WHAT SHOULD I DO? WHO SHOULD I GO TO? I live in NH and my PCP nor my OB know I am an addict. as a matter of fact, I got REALLY addicted when my PCP put me on a pain mgmt contract because I DO actually have chronic back pain which is another WHOLE FN story. I'll deal with that after I get clean. Thanks to everyone who looks at this or responRAB with helpful advice or information. God Bless You.
 
youngNhurting;

Thank you. Really Really thank you. I appreciate your honesty and kindness. I relly have only been taking a quarter of an 8mg suboxone every day.a very small amount. Today is my first day with out and MAN I FEEL LIKE A$$. I guess my worries are not how to get off but how to STAY off. It is soooo hard. So much easier to just get the pills take them and feel good enough to perform daily tasks. But I know inside that is not an option. I am extremely depressed. Havent had or been interested in sex in so long I dont even know how my NEW husband is coping. My Daughter seems to be the only thing that gets me out of bed and only because I know she neeRAB to be changed and fed and bathed. I barely play with her all I want to do is sleep and I cant! I have read 7 books since sunday because I CAN NOT SLEEP. I really feel like I'm losing it. REALLY losing it. I just don't know how to do it the right way. to get and stay clean. To be happy with my life like I used to be. To find fun in it without drugs or alcohol (NO I have not been drinking prego!) but yes I want to some days. What can I do? I dont have a psych dr, my primary is a (*Q#&*&$ and I am just so stuck.:confused::confused::confused:
 
hello and welcome to the board..i completely agree with the others..they are just speaking the truth...the way you are talking you seem like you really don't want to or your not ready to come clean...i was pregnant at 24 and i was on pain meRAB...i know its hard to stop them especially having to go thru withdrawals but you can do it...i did it...you have to put yourself in the right frame of mind to be able to do it...its not about you right now its about your baby and you have to put that baby first..if you stay on everything your on when your baby is born that baby will go thru withdrawals and you know what they are like so do you really want your baby to experience that? i'm not trying to be harsh i'm just being real you have to stop thinking about yourself and wanting to get high and start thinking about the baby and how that baby will suffer when its born...i was able to stop so i know you can...and if you truly are wanting to get clean you will find help there are so many resources available so take advantage of them please for your baby...and did the hospital know you were pregnant cause i seriously doubt they would send you home with a script for percocet...it seems like you are coming up with excuses to be on the pain meRAB...i'm sure you are in pain but you just gotta suck it up for now...when i was pregnant i ended up getting kidney stones which are very painful..i also developed hydronephrosis in my right kidney...it caused my kidney to become swollen which is painful it was caused because that kidney was being blocked from draining to my bladder so because of that i was getting infections in it so i ended up having a metal stent inserted between it and my bladder to open it up so it would drain and that is not a very comfortable thing to have in you it caused alot of pain...i also have 2 herniated discs...and at the time i had already had 3 surgeries on my left knee before i became pregnant and it tore again right before i became pregnant but obviously could not have surgery to repair it so i just had to deal with it thru my pregnancy which sucked cause it was extremely painful and was full of fluid...so i dealt with all those painful things thru my pregnancy and did not take any pain meRAB...thats why i am saying if i can do it i know you can
 
Hi leilanbabies - welcome to the board. I'm not going to be kind or sympathetic at all when it comes to children, especially babies!!! You need to think about your baby FIRST and how your addiction is affecting it. You could be doing permanent damage and you need to stop NOW what you are doing to your baby!!!! Get clean in a detox center and you need to stay that way and be a mother for your child, family and your husband. You already know what you have to do. Spend the time looking for detox centers in your area and start detoxing TODAY! Not tomorrow, but today!
 
Hello again,

Everything you wrote is seriously the same thing I struggle with! Trying to enjoy my life without them, have fun without them. I know it's possible because I used to have all of that and I know it's up to me and only me to give that back to myself. It's just going to take a lot of time and effort.

Staying clean obviously is something I have not done a great job at myself. However, I have something new to focus on. We want a baby so badly and I know that if we are trying I just need to be healthy going in to it. SO I cling to that. Maybe you can focus on the miracle growing inside of you and focus on that to stay clean. Once the baby is born maybe you can be reffered to an addictions dr. who can prescribe you suboxone? I don't know. All of our situations are different.

I just really wanted you to know I am thinking of you and have said many prayers for you and your family.

ALSO, if there are any LURKERS out there in the same position that this woman is in, please come forward and share your story because I know it would help all parties involved here. YOU ARE NOT ALONE... Post... you are welcome here.

Take care honey! Keep doing what you are doing. We can feel like dog crap together.

Blessings!
 
Look, I am sorry if I come off as rude or unreachable but Im just trying to gather information. I can not go to rehab. I have no one to take care of my children and with all that has gone on in my life, I honestly dont think I could survive it. Let me add that I am bipolar, major depressive, have anxiety, PTSD and adjustment disorder. ALSO, I have chronic pain which no one seems to be able to diagnose or treat correctly. Also, I am a drug addict. Who the hell can actually help me? My Dr makes me feel like the biggest scurabag on earth when i even call her for me inhaler. I am moving to the seacoast, so maybe there will be better healthcare out there? who knows? i dont and no one I Know seems to either. Please, just info, or guidance, NO JUDGMENT. Thank You.
 
Hello and Welcome!

I don't know where to begin with this situation but I will just start out by saying that as hard as this is going to be, you have got to contact your dr. and get a safe tapering plan set into place immediatly! That baby is going to suffer so badly otherwise and I can't imagine you would be okay with that.

I don't say any of this to be mean and I am not judging you. My husband and I are trying to have a baby and I have been using.. Major relapse! I know in my heart it is not okay for me to get pregnant in this condition. So... today I found the courage to put an end to my cycle and we can do this together if you will just take the leap of faith and grab my hand and trust us to help. I have got to stop using and I started tapering today so that I can get my body and mind healthy so that when I become pregnant (if I am given that blessing after all my mistakes) , my baby will be healthy and have a Mother who is not a mess. You can achieve this too. I just know you can.

Are you willing to take my offer? We can't do these things alone... that is for sure. You and your baby and other child are worth this fight. Please on behalf of your unborn child, PLEASE make a choice to turn your life around. Many people out there would give literally their left arm to have a baby and you are not well.... Your baby is in severe danger.

Let's do this together... From one Mother to a WANNA be Mother.... The offer stanRAB.
May God protect and bless you and your babies!
 
Ive been told time and time again that basically there are other people that need help more than I do. Plus they say they HAVE to take the referred people first. I will however do that search and see what I can come up with. And dont think that I dont take full responsibility for this. Yes drugs are powerful but only to the one who holRAB them. And to hold them, you have to find them. Which takes effort. I want to quit. I dont blame anyone else. ALL I WANT is someone to give me some ideas on how to go about this. Thank you so much for your response and information:)
 
Secrets- I dont have a prescription so tapering thru my dr is not an option. I have been buying suboxone to stop the oc withdrawals have been off oc for week, still taking VERY LITTLE amount of subox. But what happens when I run out?
 
In this area, they only take people who are referred by law enforcement or probation programs unless you have uber insurance which i don't. I have medicare. I don't expect sympathy but some helpful shoving in the right direction would be nice. And in case you missed the part about me being an addict- I AM. I DO think about my children and my family. Unfortunately, the power of the drugs over ride that which is why I came here looking for support, not criticism. Thank You anyway.
 
I know that you are in a really tough spot right now. I know of several women who were on pain meRAB and got preggo. The Dr. didnt seem overly concerned and kept them on the pain meRAB throughout their pregnancies. However, seeing you are not taking pain meRAB and are only taking 1/4 of a suboxone every day.....you are soooo close to getting off and being free! If you feel there are no Dr's out there available to you right now i would just do a taper off the suboxone. Go down to an 1/8 for a few days and then if you are able to get even a smaller chunk then do that for a few days and then quit. I am most sure even if you did that you would still be a bit uncomfortable for a few days but nothing like you would be if you quit it at the dose you are on now. I have heard that sub w/d's can be bad but stopping it at an 1/8 shouldnt be horrible....physically.... but mentally stopping anything is very hard. Whichever way you decide to quit be sure you taper as quiting cold turkey and going through w/d's can be dangerous for the baby! Good luck to you!
 
Okay, I see your situation more clearly now.....

Is there a way for you to get a prescription for pain meRAB from your PCP so you can use them to taper or is that not possible? I am just trying to brain storm idea's of how we can come up with a good taper plan... Or... can you get more sub so that we can help you come up with a taper for that??? I know there are a lot of people who look at this board who know about suboxone. In fact, one of my dear frienRAB that I met here has some experience with that medication so I could ask her her thoughts on a taper plan.

I am sorry you are running into a brick wall when trying to get any addiction help. As for people making you feel judged. I understand. I have felt that way many times with a reply from people here BUT.... sometimes people have a hard time putting themself in "your" shoes and the advice they give is easier said than done of course. I know certain things are hard to hear, believe me..... It's kind of part of the crappy package of being an addict. Dr's and certain people will make us feel uncomfortable but we need to just move past it.

Reply when you can so we can help get a game plan together for you because I think once you have a plan, I think you will feel better about the situation. Hang in there, this is one heck of a battle but you are NOT alone.

Blessings!
 
Hello

Well.

You are really in deep here. Addiction is, indeed, a powerful thing. However, it is not so powerful that we can not overcome it. I need to tell you gently that the first thing that neeRAB to change is the attitude. The statements about using weed are pretty belligerent for someone who wants to get clean. Too many excuses about why you used the drugs. All of them. Instead of calling your doctor when opiates were prescribed in the hospital, you took them and then rejoiced in getting a script of percocets. You are trying to do damage control now and it is difficult to do that without becoming commited to a total sense of honesty.

I would also like to let you know that there certainly are detox and rehab centers in NH that accept medicare. A quick search on Medicare and Addiction in New Hampshire led me to many of them.

If up to this point there is recognition that you have been doing what every other addict does, then there neeRAB to be recognition that it is time to stop it. Put your computer skills to use and do a search for a detox center that takes medicare. Call Medicare and ask them where to go. Call a helpline from the front of your phone book that will lead you to help.

There is much support to be had on this board. I received tons of it when I was going through withdrawal myself. I believe that if you post honestly without harshness and blame on others, you will find what you are looking for here.

Best wishes
reach
 
Hello again.

I guess if you want some idea's to start out. I would get a plan together to taper down. Maybe we can help you out with that if you tell us what and how much you are taking and we can start from there.

If rehab is not working out right now, maybe seeing an addictionalogist or a therapist would help.

What do you think about that?
 
Sorry for being a bit rough (bad day for me today), but you really need to do what is right for your child and family. Detox centers are available for Medicare and Access patients. Even check with your hospitals if they can help out. You really need to talk to your doctor about what is the right detox plan for the child. You don't want to start going into withdrawals and have your baby going through them as well or start on a tapering plan that causes complications for the baby. I believe that only a qualified physician will really have the right answers for you and what is good for the baby. Good Luck.
 
sorry if i came off as judging you cause i'm not...i was in the same situation and i know your thinking how can i know what your going thru right? well i am also bipolar,manic depressive have severe anxiety and had PTSD at that time bad cause i was just car jacked and he punched me...when i got pregnant i was on lamictal for the bipolar, lexapro for the depression and anxiety, and valium for the anxiety and to help me sleep cause of nightmares..i was also taking percocet...i had to stop all the meRAB especially the lamictal cause it can cause problems with the unborn baby...and you know how it is being off your meRAB if your bipolar i was almost commited twice cause of my mental state which was horrible cause i was going thru withdrawals and the lovely mood changes having bad manic highs and downs...so i was not attacking your intelligence at all...but it is a fact that these meRAB pass to your baby and thats what made me stop...i was looked down on constantly...so since you can't do the rehab thing your other choices are either stop cold turkey and that depenRAB on how much your taking now or taper down but start doing it now...maybe you could talk to your pcp about whats going on and maybe he or she will help you...but i think it could be possible also that if you tell your pcp whats going on they might just baker act you cause they will feel your harming your baby and i know you don't want that to happen...its happened to me and it sucks trust me..so thats a tough one...i know how doctors can be so you would have to be sure you can go to your pcp with this and not risk being baker acted...my suggestion is to either just go cold turkey and go thru the withdrawals which will end thats the way i did it...or just taper off...but to get help on here everyone neeRAB to know how much you are taking right now and then someone can give you advice on how to taper down from that cause i'm not sure how to do the taper thing cause i went cold turkey...but i know alot of people on here do know how and will be more then happy to help you...i wish you all the best and i'm sorry that i came off that way
 
[My daughter did NOT have withdrawals. I know the risks and the benefits of pain medication, THAT is something Im quite well educated on. How do I stop being an addict AND be pain free? I am not stupid. I have 3 children. I was on narcotics my WHOLE last pregnancy and my daughter did not spend even one extra day in the hospital and she is absolutely perfect. So instead of demenaing me and telling me about how I should care about my baby. I obviously do or I wouldnt have said anything to ANYONE. Just guide me ibn the right direction. Thanks. Sorry about the attitude but I feel just like I do when I see my PCP, looked down upon and treated the same. I am not an invalid. I have been thru school, college, and many life experiences. Please dont treat me like that.
 
The reason why I said you need to work with a physician, I don't know how withdrawals or suboxone reacts while being pregnant. Only a doctor who is familiar with drug addiction and pregnancies can really give you the right advise. You need to understand how your plan will affect the baby first.

From what I have read, you should NOT use suboxone while being pregnant. That is why you need to get specific treatment NOW. Call a doctor, a detox center, make arrangements for someone to take care of your kiRAB, do whatever you need to do and save your baby NOW.
 
Hello Lielanbabies,

Im sorry ur in such a terrible predicament. Im a recovering addict and my choice of drug was LIQUID MORPHINE which i was put on by my stupid surgeon when i had my bowel removed and it just spirlle from there. Anyway i went into detox 16mths ago for 10 days and got off the morp and was put on suboxone "BAD MOVE" i started on 8mgs and within 12 weeks had tapered down to 1mg then the withdrawals hit me and i tell you i was close to death i withdrew that bad,s my doc put me onto 25mgs of methadone which im still on but am going into detox in the new year to get off for good. I just really wanted to say that i can tll you want to get clean otherwise you wouldn't be comig to this forum asking for "HELP" for goRABake. I understand how the addiction takes you over,and yes it's damn hard to stop and say NO but you need to stop darling for not only ur sake but please think of ur child, i cant imagine how a newborn babie could get through something so terrible?? Im not having a go at you whatsoever as i fully understand and you need guidance,supportext!! Go to ur doc or another and tell them what's going on and be honest and they will then know that ur not just pulling there leg so to speak. You know what i mean in regard's to being an addict, we all tell our doc's nothing but lies. Go in there and tell the trth like i did and it worked am am still clean after 16mths and never ever want to touch morph or anything else. If you dont want to do it for YOU please do it for ur unborn child. If you ever need to talk please dont hesitate to contact me ok. I really feel for you ok. And i dont believe ur wrong,ur an addict the same as i am. Keep ur chin up and go for it and i know you can do it as you wouldn't be here otherwise. Also never ever justify urself to anyone.

sincerly,

damagedgooRAB41.......:confused::(:o:wave::dizzy:

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS TO U)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
 
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