Poem: How to Count Sheep, second draft. Criticism please?

Larry

New member
How to Count sheep

Spare yourself from distractions
Tear the television’s electric I.V
From its socket-
Coil and toss it
Into the shoe box
Sitting in your closet.
While you’re at it,
Please turn off all cellphones.
We wouldn’t want someone calling you,
-That guitar solo
From “freebird” isn’t the most meditative music.

When you’ve eliminated every annoyance
Sink into your living room sofa.
Look at the back of your eyelids
You should see a pitch-black pasture
So dark, it appears as if
The moon and stars have been stolen
Leaving only a featureless face.

But don’t panic, the sun isn’t bashful
Wait, and he will come
Peeking above the barn
Like a floating bulb
Illuminating wheat,
Tangled wire,
The farmhills dotted with cows
Lost in their grazing.

You can get the stars back, too.
Thousands, or a few
Of white pinholes poked through the sky
You might prefer this. It’s night,
So the cows are all locked away.
If cows don’t particularly move you.

You can see the fence, Yes?
(If not, skip this verse)
It’s probably day-
Soon, the hoofed balls of white wool
Will come pouring from the barn
And sail, one by one, over the pickets
Landing safely outside of your vision
To graze, as weariness pulls its curtain
Over your consciousness.

If it’s night,-
The sheep might not be confident
Hopping a fence they cannot see
They will likely turn toward the moon
And lift their brittle legs, leaping
Over the glowing opal set in the sky-
Growing smaller and smaller
As they sink into the dark-
Follow them out
Until the pasture comes apart.
 
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