So, I'll be the first to admit that I'm not even a decent poet, my poems often lack substance, but I'm trying to get better! Could you please read my poem and suggest anything that I could do to make it worth while? I would greatly appreciate it!
Thanks!
I fight the war of the living:
the wanting but not succeeding.
I take pills to make it less gray,
and weep when the world ceases to be my playground.
I find hope under a rock,
once a dark, cold, lonely place.
I take pills to make it less gray,
rely on them and forget to pray.
I fight for my right to posses,
take my medicine for the times I feel I have nothing and less.
I fight the battle of the living:
the struggle to be and accept my being as a whole and righteous.
I fight the war of the living:
the need to erase my existence when existing proves so passé.
So there it is, in all it's injustice! lol!
Thanks!
I fight the war of the living:
the wanting but not succeeding.
I take pills to make it less gray,
and weep when the world ceases to be my playground.
I find hope under a rock,
once a dark, cold, lonely place.
I take pills to make it less gray,
rely on them and forget to pray.
I fight for my right to posses,
take my medicine for the times I feel I have nothing and less.
I fight the battle of the living:
the struggle to be and accept my being as a whole and righteous.
I fight the war of the living:
the need to erase my existence when existing proves so passé.
So there it is, in all it's injustice! lol!