Can you help me find a title for the first poem and give some feedback on the rest.
Poem 1:
You said you really loved me
You said you really cared
So why am I sitting here
Crying because you’re dead?
Why did you have to do it?
Why did you drink and drive?
If you would have been more responsible
You’d still be alive
I thought you’d never leave me
I thought it would be the same
I thought you loved life
But it seems it was only a game
So now I’m sitting here wondering
How it would really be
If I could change everything
And you’d come back to me
I loved you with all my heart
You were my pride and joy
You took my soul away
When you couldn’t come back anymore
I’m sitting at your grave
Reminiscing on all of our days
Imagining what we’d have
If you had only stayed
Now I’m all alone
I no longer have you
My life is so miserable
And no one has a clue
The halls at school seem empty
My world comes crashing down
Whenever I hear about you
All over the news and town
I know I’ll never forget you
I’ll try to forgive you too
But next time I try this
I’ll stop and think of you
How funny you are and clever
And wise and smart too
And then I’ll decide no
Because I’m loved like you
I don’t want to hurt anyone
I don’t want to die alone
I sit and say this now
As you fly away to home
don’t forget about us
Mom and dad and me
Because we loved you dearly
And the family is now incomplete
I hope you liked this poem
Its laying by your grave
And I’ll tell everyone of this
And hope they will be brave
Poem 2: Bag Lady
I watch the lady cross the street
She's carrying a bag of meat
With blisters on the bottom of her feet
She looks real mean, I can't pretend
I go to give her a helping hand
Because I am trying to be a friend
She looks at me and turns away
She says she has had a long day
And from the outside world she plans to stray
I'm going home to where I belong
And I will keep my head up and be strong
And I listen to her play her life's song
She walks off and I leave her be
I take into consideration what she told me
I thought when I was grown I would be free
But seeing the lady made me feel bad
She seemed so lonely and so sad
I could not imagine what made her so mad
Maybe she was discovered by a distant lover
Or belittled by someone who felt they were above her
She doesn't deserve to be hurt by another
No one deserves to be treated like that
Made feel small like the tiniest gnat
Or a little brown coat lying flat
Trampled by feet and covered in mud
People should not have veins filled with cold blood
But filled with blood overflowed like water after a flood
I sit and think of what she meant by home
Was it a place she could freely roam
Was this the woman I wanted to become
I do not want to be treated like that, ever
Ser tratado como que puedo odiar
This woman, broken and bent she will be forever
I wish that there was something I could do
Give her a hint or some kind of clue
Because her heart is poisoned from the ink from her tattoo
Pero quizas esto era una leccion aprendida
Visitar quizas el gran arriba
Porque el es mi quia en la osuridad
Through the light when I can see
He still is the one who guides me
To be the best that I can be
The bag lady is now long gone
Maybe she was a dream, I think with a yawn
Maybe this will be over by the break of dawn
Poem 3: Black Soul
Alone in a corner, alone in a chair
Staring at the walls, black and bare
I soak them in, I have nothing to lose
My life is an alarm and I just hit snooze
The world, formally a spice rack
No white or gray, all is black
I want none of this, can I go back?
It’s a little too late, no time for that
Oh wait, a change of scenery
My family plot, at the cemetery
They burned a hole that started in my shoe sole
Burning me it fired its way to my aching soul
My soul is charred, my heart hot
Keep moving and it will stop
But never, no, I’m trapped inside
Never stop, I’ve been brushed and cast aside
Dark as black and black as coal
My soul has now become a black hole
Poem 4:Heartless
Joined in a world full of pain and hunger
A man and his family lie in an alley corner
Striving for food, a shelter, and water
Suffering from the loss of his youngest daughter
Who died a slow and sorrowful death
He watched as she breathed her last breath
His wife he knew endured internal pain
Her strength she must once more regain
To hold her family on her shoulder
They wanted to see her daughter grow older
Her husband looked at her and said
Like Kanye rhymed, How could you be so heartless?
She replied with a simple answer
She would not want me to suffer
You must learn it was her time to go
She was put on earth for us to know
She had fulfilled her life's duty
But God decided to take her home truly
So before you call me heartless
Take the time to know I'm blessed
God gave me a wonderful family
And I do not think of her emptily
I love her with all my heart
A
Can you help me find a title for the first poem and give some feedback on the rest.
Poem 1:
You said you really loved me
You said you really cared
So why am I sitting here
Crying because you’re dead?
Why did you have to do it?
Why did you drink and drive?
If you would have been more responsible
You’d still be alive
I thought you’d never leave me
I thought it would be the same
I thought you loved life
But it seems it was only a game
So now I’m sitting here wondering
How it would really be
If I could change everything
And you’d come back to me
I loved you with all my heart
You were my pride and joy
You took my soul away
When you couldn’t come back anymore
I’m sitting at your grave
Reminiscing on all of our days
Imagining what we’d have
If you had only stayed
Now I’m all alone
I no longer have you
My life is so miserable
And no one has a clue
The halls at school seem empty
My world comes crashing down
Whenever I hear about you
All over the news a
And even if its the end of time, we will never part
So how could you, shameful man, be so thankless
To think that I would laugh at your afflictedness
My daughter from this horrible world is free
But she will always live inside of me
I must address your abruptness
Mr., How could you be so heartless?
Poem 1:
You said you really loved me
You said you really cared
So why am I sitting here
Crying because you’re dead?
Why did you have to do it?
Why did you drink and drive?
If you would have been more responsible
You’d still be alive
I thought you’d never leave me
I thought it would be the same
I thought you loved life
But it seems it was only a game
So now I’m sitting here wondering
How it would really be
If I could change everything
And you’d come back to me
I loved you with all my heart
You were my pride and joy
You took my soul away
When you couldn’t come back anymore
I’m sitting at your grave
Reminiscing on all of our days
Imagining what we’d have
If you had only stayed
Now I’m all alone
I no longer have you
My life is so miserable
And no one has a clue
The halls at school seem empty
My world comes crashing down
Whenever I hear about you
All over the news and town
I know I’ll never forget you
I’ll try to forgive you too
But next time I try this
I’ll stop and think of you
How funny you are and clever
And wise and smart too
And then I’ll decide no
Because I’m loved like you
I don’t want to hurt anyone
I don’t want to die alone
I sit and say this now
As you fly away to home
don’t forget about us
Mom and dad and me
Because we loved you dearly
And the family is now incomplete
I hope you liked this poem
Its laying by your grave
And I’ll tell everyone of this
And hope they will be brave
Poem 2: Bag Lady
I watch the lady cross the street
She's carrying a bag of meat
With blisters on the bottom of her feet
She looks real mean, I can't pretend
I go to give her a helping hand
Because I am trying to be a friend
She looks at me and turns away
She says she has had a long day
And from the outside world she plans to stray
I'm going home to where I belong
And I will keep my head up and be strong
And I listen to her play her life's song
She walks off and I leave her be
I take into consideration what she told me
I thought when I was grown I would be free
But seeing the lady made me feel bad
She seemed so lonely and so sad
I could not imagine what made her so mad
Maybe she was discovered by a distant lover
Or belittled by someone who felt they were above her
She doesn't deserve to be hurt by another
No one deserves to be treated like that
Made feel small like the tiniest gnat
Or a little brown coat lying flat
Trampled by feet and covered in mud
People should not have veins filled with cold blood
But filled with blood overflowed like water after a flood
I sit and think of what she meant by home
Was it a place she could freely roam
Was this the woman I wanted to become
I do not want to be treated like that, ever
Ser tratado como que puedo odiar
This woman, broken and bent she will be forever
I wish that there was something I could do
Give her a hint or some kind of clue
Because her heart is poisoned from the ink from her tattoo
Pero quizas esto era una leccion aprendida
Visitar quizas el gran arriba
Porque el es mi quia en la osuridad
Through the light when I can see
He still is the one who guides me
To be the best that I can be
The bag lady is now long gone
Maybe she was a dream, I think with a yawn
Maybe this will be over by the break of dawn
Poem 3: Black Soul
Alone in a corner, alone in a chair
Staring at the walls, black and bare
I soak them in, I have nothing to lose
My life is an alarm and I just hit snooze
The world, formally a spice rack
No white or gray, all is black
I want none of this, can I go back?
It’s a little too late, no time for that
Oh wait, a change of scenery
My family plot, at the cemetery
They burned a hole that started in my shoe sole
Burning me it fired its way to my aching soul
My soul is charred, my heart hot
Keep moving and it will stop
But never, no, I’m trapped inside
Never stop, I’ve been brushed and cast aside
Dark as black and black as coal
My soul has now become a black hole
Poem 4:Heartless
Joined in a world full of pain and hunger
A man and his family lie in an alley corner
Striving for food, a shelter, and water
Suffering from the loss of his youngest daughter
Who died a slow and sorrowful death
He watched as she breathed her last breath
His wife he knew endured internal pain
Her strength she must once more regain
To hold her family on her shoulder
They wanted to see her daughter grow older
Her husband looked at her and said
Like Kanye rhymed, How could you be so heartless?
She replied with a simple answer
She would not want me to suffer
You must learn it was her time to go
She was put on earth for us to know
She had fulfilled her life's duty
But God decided to take her home truly
So before you call me heartless
Take the time to know I'm blessed
God gave me a wonderful family
And I do not think of her emptily
I love her with all my heart
A
Can you help me find a title for the first poem and give some feedback on the rest.
Poem 1:
You said you really loved me
You said you really cared
So why am I sitting here
Crying because you’re dead?
Why did you have to do it?
Why did you drink and drive?
If you would have been more responsible
You’d still be alive
I thought you’d never leave me
I thought it would be the same
I thought you loved life
But it seems it was only a game
So now I’m sitting here wondering
How it would really be
If I could change everything
And you’d come back to me
I loved you with all my heart
You were my pride and joy
You took my soul away
When you couldn’t come back anymore
I’m sitting at your grave
Reminiscing on all of our days
Imagining what we’d have
If you had only stayed
Now I’m all alone
I no longer have you
My life is so miserable
And no one has a clue
The halls at school seem empty
My world comes crashing down
Whenever I hear about you
All over the news a
And even if its the end of time, we will never part
So how could you, shameful man, be so thankless
To think that I would laugh at your afflictedness
My daughter from this horrible world is free
But she will always live inside of me
I must address your abruptness
Mr., How could you be so heartless?