Please help! My husband does not want to have sex with me?

N

nikiB

New member
How can I maintain my self-esteem when my husband does not find me attractive? I have been married for about 3 years. Throughout our marriage, I have been the one to initiate sex. My husband is usually not interested. His lack of interest and rejection has been difficult throughout our marriage but, since we have committed to a life together with kids, we have created a decent marriage.
The excuse for him not being interested is my being over weight. Not because we aren't compatible, but because he is not attracted to me. I weight around 300 ilbs and I’m 5’ 4”. What upsets me is that I was overweight when he met me. He tells me it’s not just my being overweight but he says that it is disrespectful to him that I don’t care more about myself. He is in pretty good shape but I try to explain that not everyone has the same will power! He has encouraged me to lose weight but for some reason I can’t stick to it. I just don’t understand why I have to change for him to find me attractive??? I do admit to having problems with binge eating at times due to low self esteem but don’t understand why he can’t love me unconditionally for who I am.

We have a 1 year old son and I don’t want to leave but I’m not happy due to the lack of attention he shows me.
 
>he is not attracted to me. I weight around 300 ilbs and I’m 5’ 4”. <

Gawdam, honey, just say no to seconds.
 
I can understand why you would have such a hard time losing weight with a husband like that around. He shows no support to you at all and he puts you down and expects you to lose weight. I feel sorry for anyone who has to live with such abuse.

As far as the losing weight goes...I know it's really difficult, but if you make little changes in your lifestyle the weight will come off. Diets do not work..you need to make a lifestyle change. such as being more active...walk more...even if it's just around the block a couple times a day. the more active you are, the better you will feel about yourself. You can try to cut back on some calories and eat less carbs..that should also help, but don't lose weight to please someone else because you will fail everytime..you have to do it for you. Because you want to feel better about yourself, because you want to be healthy for your children. Good luck to you.
 
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