please help me i'm hooked

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mel486

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Hey there MarkShark! The absolute best thing you could do to your life right now is get off of the Oxy. Oxycontin is a time-release version of oxycodone (Percocets) and has some specific tapering problems associated with it. 1) since it is time-release, it stays in your body longer, 2) you cannot cut the pills in half to taper. If you can taper down to 5 mg Oxycontin pills that would help you a lot. Even though it appears that you obtained the pills through "other" means... You might consider contacting your doctor and asking for help. One of the more recommended tapering methoRAB for Oxycontin is to switch to oxycodone (Percocets), so that you can cut the pills into halves, quarters or smaller pieces to reduce your doses and withdrawals. Trust me, you don't want the withdrawals!! Considering that you have been on the pills for a short amount of time, you may be able to drop faster off of them than people on them for many months or years.

Feeling "high" is really a state of mind. I think you can get a more fulfilling feeling by doing things that are major accomplishments to feel high. For me, hiking major trails gives me an endorphin rush that is fantastic. Landing the perfect or any job is a major accomplishment, helping another needy person, changing the oil in your car w/o spilling it, seeing a baby being born, there's just so many things that can pump up the endorphins in your body just like drugs do. Yes, you usually have to work a little to get to it, but they are so much more rewarding!!

Do it now while you are on low doses. You'll realize afterward that it was teh right thing to do! Good Luck!
 
im new to this board and i need help. i have been depressed about a lot of things lately (job loss, relationship issues, etc.) and i have been using 20-40mg of oxycontin everyday for a month now to escape my problems. its just becoming an expensive habit and the road is worsening. i just want to stop wanting it. i want my life back. i dont even know what to ask for on this board all i know is that i have nowhere to go...i cant tell my family as theyll be dissappointed and my gf would break up with me. for the record i am 27 years old, from pittsburgh. im not a nobody either, i am a college graduate who was the most motivated, happiest, straight edged guy ever who never even would drink a beer. now i feel like nothing, and my only reason for getting up the next day is to get high and feel nothing but euphoria. please somebody give me advice on what i need to do at this point. thank you.
 
Hey Mark,

Just was catching up on the board and read your story.... I understand your struggle, we have all been there... The only difference was I never snorted any of my pills... but I took a lot higher dosage.

Now is the time buddy to kick this habit because it will only suck you further and further in... We are here for you!

Take care!
 
just want to update. since my first post i had gotten worse...i was buying and taking 20-40mg of oxycodone and/or oxycontin everyday, and snorting 2-300 mgs of demerol the days i didnt. recently i met up with a friend who was an ex-heroin/pill addict for 10 years. i told him about the pills, but i lied. i told him it was for knee pain and i had been only taking them daily for 2 weeks (rather than 2 months). he said "well, 2 weeks will do you in." something about that scared me, and this was two days ago. i have now been clean for the past 2 1/2 days, even though i have an oc 80 in my car. 2 days isnt much, but its been over 2 months since i made it 2 days without anything. all day was SUCH a struggle to not use, and i dont know how i didnt do it. it seems life is SO boring without getting high...for the pills seemed to enhance EVERYTHING i did. i have had no withdrawals at all, probably because of the amount i was doing and length of time, which i thought was a lot until i spoke to people who were addicts and laughed at my doses. the only thing im worried about is tomorrow. i got a part time job as a bouncer about a month ago and i have never made it a night working there without using. i cant be social without the drugs, and im in fear that i will do it tomorrow night since i have the 80 on me. i paid for it, and i dont want to throw it out. i got rid of my contacts for pills 2 days ago.
 
ok' I shouldn't prescribe dosages and stand corrected. however' go to your doctor with the idea and let him prescribe his recomendations. This WORKS!
 
first sorry about the speeling this is from my blackberry!!! remeraber that gut you were? he is stillin there under a sheet of drugs right now, as you slowly painfully take off that sheet he will come to life, stronger then ever. sounRAB like your to deep to do this alone. write on this board everyday, tell somone around you that you need support coming off these meeRAB and go to a NA meeting, even if its jsutf for a short time so yo can c other people who had made it through the first few weeks of geeting off your drug, it helps more then you know. your not alone, i am going throught the sma ehting and i am filled with shame everyday and fear of what will happpen. im going to keep getting help and keep reaching out. you can do this. your smart and you have peoplewho love you . dont do it alone, it almost never works. keep talking and read about howto tapper off your drug, to make the WD AS SMOOTH as it can be. its never smooth but it does not have to be pure hell.
 
Actually, mon-admin, I thought that wp neeley's advice in the first post was pretty good. I didn't see the second post. Seems like WP had been down this road before and the advice that he mentioned was a good way to reduce the withdrawals. I feel fortunate that I did see it. Maybe WP can rewrite the post w/o specific doses in it (use percentages). I thought there might be some good info in it. Thanks!
 
i know i miss this type of motivation. i used to be a competitive bodybuilder, eating right, working out 2hours a day, never touching a drop of alcohol...for 8 years straight. then this happened and i feel like a soulless shell. god these pills make me so weak minded.
 
so NA is therapeutic? great i was a little nervous. luckily, i dont have physical withdrawals in that i took a day off of them last week because i couldnt get any and nothing happened, but it is just the fact i take them everyday and im worried about what will happen;
 
good news mark! your friend is right 2 weeks even can knock you on your but and send you into some withdrawal (that not the good news, sorry). a lot of that dead board, unmotivated feeling you get from the drugs is from the drugs them self's. they stop your body from making its own natural "high" chemicals, and i mean really stop them. thats why we feel so hopeless, depressed, unmotaved , and down on ourselves when we don't use. and of course as u continue to use it will take more ane more and more of the drugs to get that high feeling- finally only to find that no matter how much you take you don't get high anymore , but it only keeps you from withdrawals. it sucks the big one to say the least. your friend is a recovered addict and i think he would totally understand if you told him the painful truth. its very rare that someone can stop using on there own, even if they have only been using a few months just like you. your natural health, happiness, and everything you and everyone else loved about you is waiting right around the corner. get support, give the pills to someone else. screw how you think it will make you look. your just a step away from ending up in rehab, trust me mark that is nooooooooo vacation. your worth the fight!
 
to markshark
I know what you are going through and I am much older than you. If you do not get help now the problem will worsen.

edited


Please get help and don't be erabarrassed.
Verarose
 
Mike how are you doing? Have you decided on a plan of action yet? I think even talking to a doctor may be a good thing to do so that you can get on a program to taper down or possible get into a detox center to rapidly detox, but under supervision. You still have a long road ahead of you once you are off. Let us know how you are doing.
 
Mark, did you start taking OxyContin for a legitimate pain condition? I am also a lot older than you, but I was taking Percocet (later oxycodone) for pain. Eventually I started taking more and more, and I became very depressed that the pills were controlling my life. SounRAB like you're in the same place I was. If you are truly sick of your life this way, you can get off them. And you SHOULD get off them, while you are still young. But first I wanted to find out if you need them for pain and, if so, how you will deal with the pain without pills.
 
Hey there markshark! How's it going today? The reason why you probably didn't have any withdrawals (yet) is because of the long acting effects of Oxycontin has. You are seriously heading for disaster if you keep going on the path you've been on. You need to get in touch with yourself and figure out what you want to do with the rest of your life. If you were a body builder at one time, stand in front of the mirror and look at yourself now and ask yourself is this what you want? Body building is hard work that required dedication, fortitude, sacrifices, all going toward a known end result. You need to have the same dedication to get off of the drugs and straighten out your life. Hit the gym and replace the drugs with a good work out. Trust me, being "social" doesn't come "out" because you're taking the drugs - it's always inside of you. I am more social now w/o the Oxy and alcohol than I ever was. You need to sit down with yourself and have a good talk and ask hard questions, like; Am I happy with my life? Do I want to stay on the same path that I'm on? How can my life be better? Who really is MarkShark and what potential does he have?

I know you know the real, true answers to those questions and if you think about it a bit, you know what to do to change your life around for the better. I know bouncers that don't drink or do drugs. Their body is too important to them and they will not let anything into it that will disrupt it.

It's a hard choice and the drugs will tell you all sorts of things that your are wrong, but you have to be in charge. Here is a post I wrote back when I was recovering:

http://www.healtrabroadoarRAB.com/boarRAB/showpost.php?p=3865194&postcount=1

See if it makes sense to you. Good Luck!
 
Hey MarkShark,

I was just checking in with you to see how you are doing! I would love an update if you could find the time.

I completely understand how you feel about not feeling social without the pills and for the lack of motivation as well. I too suffer from that greatly but it is because what these pills have done to our brains. Our bodies and brains need to recover in order for them to start working properly again.

Do I miss the euphoric feeling of popping a couple of pills... Yes, I would be lying if I said I didn't. However, now that the haze of the drug has passed by I know that I can find true euphoria in other area's of my life. Pure bliss when my husband speaks the most romantic worRAB wispered so quietly in my ear so only I can hear when we are in a room full of people. True laughter when my co worker says something that only her and I would find beyond funny... These emotions do come back... I promise you that.

Let us know how you are doing. Remeraber you are only human so if Cold Turkey is too much to handle than a good taper plan can be easily set into place.

UPDATE.. UPDATE... UPDATE.. PLEASE :) Don't mean to harrass you by any means.. I just care.

Blessings.
 
hey just updating. i messed up this weekend at work. i had 2 pills left (oxycodone 30mg) and took one each night at work. today i had nothing. i erased my contacts from my phone who could get me the pills and i'm having no withdrawal symptoms. my plans are to focus on working out, my body, and getting a career i want. the only thing that is hard is waking up the next day, worried im going to crave that high. i want my brain to function normally again. i want to be drug free. i cant believe after being health conscious for so many years i got off track so badly. ill keep updating. i was never steadily on one type of painkiller, nor a certain amount. i just took them because i was bored and they helped me do things better (i.e. clean the house, cook, study).
 
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