PLEASE help me fix this poem :(?

X

XxHannaHxX

New member
that waz really good

just the part where it says 'the song would end soon' just doesn't seem to 'flow' try re-phrasing it

and disguise, that part i just didn't really like, but other than that great job!!!
 
that waz really good

just the part where it says 'the song would end soon' just doesn't seem to 'flow' try re-phrasing it

and disguise, that part i just didn't really like, but other than that great job!!!
 
It has to be a quatrain, with a 5 syllable rhythm.
And a rhyme pattern of a b a b, a c d c, a e f e, a g h g

Some places don't flow as they should. Please your opinion?


Our love was a song-
How we used to be.
You sang to me that
Short, sweet melody.

Our love was so strong;
It shone through your eyes.
When I’d look at you,
I lost my disguise.

Our love then went wrong;
For you sang off tune.
You changed the words, so
The song would end soon.

Our love is now gone.
Your heart turned to stone.
The rhythm stopped, so
Now I sing alone.
 
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