M
Millie
Guest
i met him at the begging of the school year, and yeah. We were both physically attracted to each other but we became best friends first since he had a girlfriend and i had a crush on someone. We didn't do anything physical till the friendship foundation was sturdy. That if ever something physical did happen, the friendship bond would still be there.Then the physical stuff happened, and he told me he loved me, and i sorta have feelings for him so I said it back. And he asked me to be his girlfriend and i said yes, but i broke it off after 10 hours. Cause, i just entered this weird state of panic, and i felt crazy, i felt different and i just broke up with him but we're still friends now and we still say i love you to each other.
And I was just answering this 'boyfriend/girlfriend' survey, and there are questions like "where do you see yourself in a year" and my friends (who are in love with their boyfriends) answer "Going strong" and "still in love" and my honest answer is I don't know, and another was, "where do you see yourself in 5 years" and my honest answer was probably, and hopefully still good friends but not as close as before cause we'd be working or in the last year of college by then. And there was a question: "do you see a future with him?" and my answer is honestly, no. I can't see anything with us in the future. I know, my teenage friends say they imagine, and see themselves getting married to their current boyfriends (they most likely wont, but isn't it more normal to see yourself like that with your boyfriend?)
I mean, with my past boyfriends, I've seen futures with them, and I acted like a normal schoolgirl in love like, I said all the mushy stuff in my blog, i HAD to know everything about them (favorite food, animal, color) and did stuff like that. (Come on teenage girls, you know what i'm talking about) and whenever I'd hear a love song, I immediately think of my boyfriend, but with this guy. It's like I don't even care, i mean. I love him, I know he's in my heart somewhere cause he's just so awesome. But my feelings are just so messed up, like I wanna be more than friends but... there's a panic feeling whenever i think about it.
and all the stuff my girlfriends like doing and my 'boyfriend' [ he's so gay sometimes] (we're teenagers, and don't act all surprised and go "you shouldn't be having sex" cause i've heard it all before and no one listens) like:
Cuddling after sex - (the way i do it) i don't like cuddling that much after sex.
Looking into each others eyes 'during' - my 'boyfriend' (guy i love) tries to look into my eyes, but i don't like that, I always just look at the tv or something
Thinking of baby names - I wanna name my children after my favorite musicians, or Peter Griffin.
and all the mushy stuff. I mean, is this a sign that i'm NOT in love?
And I was just answering this 'boyfriend/girlfriend' survey, and there are questions like "where do you see yourself in a year" and my friends (who are in love with their boyfriends) answer "Going strong" and "still in love" and my honest answer is I don't know, and another was, "where do you see yourself in 5 years" and my honest answer was probably, and hopefully still good friends but not as close as before cause we'd be working or in the last year of college by then. And there was a question: "do you see a future with him?" and my answer is honestly, no. I can't see anything with us in the future. I know, my teenage friends say they imagine, and see themselves getting married to their current boyfriends (they most likely wont, but isn't it more normal to see yourself like that with your boyfriend?)
I mean, with my past boyfriends, I've seen futures with them, and I acted like a normal schoolgirl in love like, I said all the mushy stuff in my blog, i HAD to know everything about them (favorite food, animal, color) and did stuff like that. (Come on teenage girls, you know what i'm talking about) and whenever I'd hear a love song, I immediately think of my boyfriend, but with this guy. It's like I don't even care, i mean. I love him, I know he's in my heart somewhere cause he's just so awesome. But my feelings are just so messed up, like I wanna be more than friends but... there's a panic feeling whenever i think about it.
and all the stuff my girlfriends like doing and my 'boyfriend' [ he's so gay sometimes] (we're teenagers, and don't act all surprised and go "you shouldn't be having sex" cause i've heard it all before and no one listens) like:
Cuddling after sex - (the way i do it) i don't like cuddling that much after sex.
Looking into each others eyes 'during' - my 'boyfriend' (guy i love) tries to look into my eyes, but i don't like that, I always just look at the tv or something
Thinking of baby names - I wanna name my children after my favorite musicians, or Peter Griffin.
and all the mushy stuff. I mean, is this a sign that i'm NOT in love?