Please give opinions and thoughts on my poem?

Gareth

New member
One more night in Suicide City.

WANDER. Streetlights burn my skin so pale,
A brown bag filled with lonely ale,
Dripping with the burning scent,
Of week old pain and excrement.

STUMBLE. The gaze of strangers brings out tears,
They have no pain, no hate, no fears,
How could a man so good and bold,
Become so weak, so poor, so old.

FALL. Four o'clock I've had no sleep,
My matress is the rain and sleet,
For snow will not release my dark,
The coldest part is my old heart.

DEPART. What kind of life has this man lead?
Will a second life be kind instead?
I think it's time I left this place,
I can't find love, or friends, or grace.

RELIEF. The tunnel calls a life so dim,
A bridge above a river grins,
It's time to leap and leave this life,
The water rids me of my strife.

Gareth Evans, 15
 
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