please critique this

L

lildeb1258

New member
A) Head on collision with the Bat Mobile; there were no survivors... globally. B) Shaq dunks on Mutumbo; there were no survivors... globally.

Ultimately, her claims are fictitious
He's been away for so long
Her claims are with another
But she strives for guilt nonetheless

The claim is that
If he respects another man
Then he is hurtful
And so she wraps her limbs in red

This is the result of medication
Where counseling could so easily be substituted
 
images
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Friend trying to cheat on her boyfriend with her ex and he won't fuck her so she's going crazy and hurting herself and sending him pics now.

I'm frienRAB with all three of them, and this drama's been bothering me for a while, because she's like, a childhood friend. :(
 
Didn't see the literature forum title.

Analysing literature isn't my forte although it's well written.

Based on real drama close to you, sounRAB fucked up. SounRAB like she's in a really bad space. Is your piece claiming she should be just having counselling and get off the medication?
 
I've had personal issues of late and I've had a lot of pressure to get on medication but refuse to. I want to persist with counselling. I just fear the side effects and know many people who have had adverse effects, never been able to get off them, or still suicided despite the medication.
 
The title is stupid, but the writing is okay, if a little simplistic and self-explanatory. I dunno, I'd suggest being a bit more experimentation with word choice.
 
I liked it. Short and to the point. I am all about subject matter and this is a good point. Although is "he's been away for so long" a reference to him leaving her or going to jail. Other then that everything is recieved as intended.
 
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