LoveTheWayYouSmile:)
New member
Please critique this poem about abuse?
There on my bed, I crouched with my pillow
Lying awake, feeling so low
A thousand tears falling on my cheeks
Hearing the screams, ears couldn't be fixed
Behind the wall, somebody wept
Begging to go, I couldn’t forget
I stood on my bed and peeped on a hole
And saw dark eyes as black as a charcoal
A man clenched his hand into a fist
Jabbed a woman, she fell at ease
He yelled and screeched again and again
Nobody recognized the woman’s pain
Her face went red and purple
Body so helpless, so feeble
The man’s hands never impeded
This woman having no shield,
Chained her neck with his giant hand
Her breathing went shallow and strained
As her body twitched in resistance
The sight made my stomach quiver
Crystal tears filled up a river
Breaking my heart, smashing into pieces
Couldn’t breathe, move or think
My heart almost started to sink
What’s the beauty with what I see?
If things get locked, no longer free
My life is ruined, completely over
Filled with memories so somber
Mom and Dad, where are you?
Who’s that woman, who’s that man?
Please stop it! Stop, Stop!
I’m really tired; I’ll call the cops.
There on my bed, I crouched with my pillow
Lying awake, feeling so low
A thousand tears falling on my cheeks
Hearing the screams, ears couldn't be fixed
Behind the wall, somebody wept
Begging to go, I couldn’t forget
I stood on my bed and peeped on a hole
And saw dark eyes as black as a charcoal
A man clenched his hand into a fist
Jabbed a woman, she fell at ease
He yelled and screeched again and again
Nobody recognized the woman’s pain
Her face went red and purple
Body so helpless, so feeble
The man’s hands never impeded
This woman having no shield,
Chained her neck with his giant hand
Her breathing went shallow and strained
As her body twitched in resistance
The sight made my stomach quiver
Crystal tears filled up a river
Breaking my heart, smashing into pieces
Couldn’t breathe, move or think
My heart almost started to sink
What’s the beauty with what I see?
If things get locked, no longer free
My life is ruined, completely over
Filled with memories so somber
Mom and Dad, where are you?
Who’s that woman, who’s that man?
Please stop it! Stop, Stop!
I’m really tired; I’ll call the cops.