Personal Commentary

P

powerranger69

New member
Just a few months ago
I was sweating out pills
In the miRABt of grotesque
And deviant thrills.

I couldn't find a cloth,
Dense enough or wide,
To block the piercing glare
Or swallow up my pride.

But Doug Stanhope told me
I was just having fun
Eating up and spitting out
All that I had done.

And if I find the time,
I'll show the marching shapes
Just how lucky they are
There's nothing left to scrape.
 
Look like he quit pain killers and then didn't have any resin left to scrape towarRAB the end of the poem...... lol sorry my interpratation.

It flowed well and the rhyme scheme was solid.

Dunno if I like the last stanza and the personalized name. When you write in appreciation for others they usually know when you are talking about them.
 
to be very honest, im not a huge fan of this one

poems about drugs are cool but the best thing about them is creating a juxtaposition between the rhyme and rhythm and the drugs themselves. this one just feels very standard and derivative when taken in its context

the rhyming here is good though, but personally im not a fan of this style of poetry - it's good for what it is but doesn't ever really 'transcend'. only rarely. good effort though
 
Mappy, OC's

AAA, It's actually a reference to a somewhat famous person. He's a really great comedian. will probably one day be compared with comedians like Bill Hicks and George Carlin. scraping was a reference to shaving up pills

Joe, nope actually that stanza isn't about drugs at all.

rasp, I appreciate your thoughts and the honesty. honestly I didn't really set out to write about drugs. it was more about a low point in my life that, looking back on now, was a time in my life that was actually really interesting that I have absolutely no regrets about. but yeah this definitely doesn't transcend and wasn't really meant to pierce the soul or anything it's really just me trying to shake off writer's block.
 
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