Thingum Bob Esq.
New member
I am a scientist, explorer, epileptic, and philisopher extraordinaire.
My goal at mastering the technique of hibernation will soon begin for the benefit of mankind.
I have been awarded the smartest man, or rather 'person', in the world. One can ask me anything, and if I don't know the answer, then I can retrieve it at a later date.
Space travel is the most important goal of man at the present. We could journey to a pulsar if we could learn to hibernate. I have invented the proper sunglasses for just such a journey.
Of course my personal goal, for a reason to be explained at a later date, would be to come closer to the male species' closest relative, the bear, particularly Ursus arctos horribilis, or, the grizzly bear.
That species called woman is more closely associated to the rat flea or possibly a tick or some other parasite for want of their wheeled vehicles, fancy hats and shoes, and the mans soul. What other creature on earth causes so much pain, to a man, so directly and indirectly?
I will give you an example of the indirect pain caused upon man by the species of 'Femeni terribilis'.
As a child I was fascinated with the Greek god Hermes, and infatuated with the only true love of my life. I was to impress her as to win her love, as well as master the art of flight (killing a bird with two stones, as they say in Russia).
My plan was to hand deliver her a poem, and a song, in the form of Mercury, showing off by flying circles above her, and then land gracefully by her side, my little foot wings fluttering slowly to a halt.
I strapped a pair of fashioned feathered wings upon my ankles, and with my messages of love in hand, took a running start on a two-story down-sloped tin-roofed barn, and jumped, only to land upon my back and head. I found the song slowly floating to the ground, landing gently next to my dislocated shoulder. The poem was not to be found. This heartlfelt poem was to my first and last love, a little temptress named Sarah, a prodigy with confections.
This twelve-year old Jezabel was of Chinese-American descent, or vice versa, and her father, Mr. Lee, was an immigrant from the land of the Great Wall, in which I've heard his ancestors helped construct and die on site. Her mother was of English descent with the personality of a water buffalo under attack by lions.
But enought of that nonsense.
During my first attempt at the bowel and bladder slowing science of hibernation, I had a dream. I say it is a dream, for I don't know what else to call such an 'out of body' experience (as they said in the 60's).
I was heading to the warm beating glow of a pulsar to search for a future site of human habitation. It produced a color never seen by human eyes, and can, in fact, only be seen with my special sunglasses. I call this new color discovery "Eternity". All I can say at the present, is that it was dark, beautiful, and I don't remember much else.
During this state of animation, my strange adventure took me through the pulsar and out the other side, and I was back on earth, and the first thing I saw, was a dish running away with a fork, and being chased by a spoon with a gun.
My goal at mastering the technique of hibernation will soon begin for the benefit of mankind.
I have been awarded the smartest man, or rather 'person', in the world. One can ask me anything, and if I don't know the answer, then I can retrieve it at a later date.
Space travel is the most important goal of man at the present. We could journey to a pulsar if we could learn to hibernate. I have invented the proper sunglasses for just such a journey.
Of course my personal goal, for a reason to be explained at a later date, would be to come closer to the male species' closest relative, the bear, particularly Ursus arctos horribilis, or, the grizzly bear.
That species called woman is more closely associated to the rat flea or possibly a tick or some other parasite for want of their wheeled vehicles, fancy hats and shoes, and the mans soul. What other creature on earth causes so much pain, to a man, so directly and indirectly?
I will give you an example of the indirect pain caused upon man by the species of 'Femeni terribilis'.
As a child I was fascinated with the Greek god Hermes, and infatuated with the only true love of my life. I was to impress her as to win her love, as well as master the art of flight (killing a bird with two stones, as they say in Russia).
My plan was to hand deliver her a poem, and a song, in the form of Mercury, showing off by flying circles above her, and then land gracefully by her side, my little foot wings fluttering slowly to a halt.
I strapped a pair of fashioned feathered wings upon my ankles, and with my messages of love in hand, took a running start on a two-story down-sloped tin-roofed barn, and jumped, only to land upon my back and head. I found the song slowly floating to the ground, landing gently next to my dislocated shoulder. The poem was not to be found. This heartlfelt poem was to my first and last love, a little temptress named Sarah, a prodigy with confections.
This twelve-year old Jezabel was of Chinese-American descent, or vice versa, and her father, Mr. Lee, was an immigrant from the land of the Great Wall, in which I've heard his ancestors helped construct and die on site. Her mother was of English descent with the personality of a water buffalo under attack by lions.
But enought of that nonsense.
During my first attempt at the bowel and bladder slowing science of hibernation, I had a dream. I say it is a dream, for I don't know what else to call such an 'out of body' experience (as they said in the 60's).
I was heading to the warm beating glow of a pulsar to search for a future site of human habitation. It produced a color never seen by human eyes, and can, in fact, only be seen with my special sunglasses. I call this new color discovery "Eternity". All I can say at the present, is that it was dark, beautiful, and I don't remember much else.
During this state of animation, my strange adventure took me through the pulsar and out the other side, and I was back on earth, and the first thing I saw, was a dish running away with a fork, and being chased by a spoon with a gun.