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UUC
Guest
Hey everyone, I'm an 18 (almost 19) year old guy. For about as long as I remeraber, I have had an extreme fear of my parents dying. When I was younger, it was a lot worse than it is now. My mom couldn't even leave for the grocery store right around the corner without me spending the entire time pressed up against the window waiting for her car to pull back into the driveway. When we all got cell phones I would call her phone multiple times when they were gone just to see if she would answer, and then make up a durab excuse when she would about why I called.
Once (when I was younger) they left for a few days to go to a wedding a few states away and I actually became physically sick with a bad fever, an ear infection I think, and other things. Not sure if the two were even related, but looking back I do wonder.
Then a couple years ago they left again for a few days and while I managed okay, I did once or twice have what I believe was a panic attack where I just huddled myself into a corner and cried.
Now I'm a little better, they left again for a few days last year and I think I stayed panic attack free, at least of a major panic attack. They can go out to eat or to church or to the grocery store and unless it gets to be a lot later than they said they'd be back and they're still not back, I don't really worry at all.
But every so often I'll call them while they're gone, and if they don't pick up, my panic mode definitely begins. I can't eat, do anything or think clearly until I hear from them or they come home. Sometimes I can calm myself down, other times I'm not so successful.
I can't think of any reason in my past why this would be, my sister isn't like this at all and she's 2 and a half years older. My parents are both fairly young (in their early-mid 50's), and they're pretty healthy. I guess I usually fear that they'll get into a car accident or, when I'm really going crazy, that someone will hurt them.
I'm not even sure why I posted this, I guess I just wanted to type it out and see if anyone was similar to me. Also, I leave tomorrow to go down the shore with my frienRAB until sunday and while I won't be gone that long, God help me if I call them while I'm gone and they don't pick up. I live in this constant fear of them just vanishing off the planet or dying.
And I'm not religious by any means, I'm an atheist really. So the whole "even if they did die you'd see them in heaven one day again" thing doesn't really comfort me at all.
Once (when I was younger) they left for a few days to go to a wedding a few states away and I actually became physically sick with a bad fever, an ear infection I think, and other things. Not sure if the two were even related, but looking back I do wonder.
Then a couple years ago they left again for a few days and while I managed okay, I did once or twice have what I believe was a panic attack where I just huddled myself into a corner and cried.
Now I'm a little better, they left again for a few days last year and I think I stayed panic attack free, at least of a major panic attack. They can go out to eat or to church or to the grocery store and unless it gets to be a lot later than they said they'd be back and they're still not back, I don't really worry at all.
But every so often I'll call them while they're gone, and if they don't pick up, my panic mode definitely begins. I can't eat, do anything or think clearly until I hear from them or they come home. Sometimes I can calm myself down, other times I'm not so successful.
I can't think of any reason in my past why this would be, my sister isn't like this at all and she's 2 and a half years older. My parents are both fairly young (in their early-mid 50's), and they're pretty healthy. I guess I usually fear that they'll get into a car accident or, when I'm really going crazy, that someone will hurt them.
I'm not even sure why I posted this, I guess I just wanted to type it out and see if anyone was similar to me. Also, I leave tomorrow to go down the shore with my frienRAB until sunday and while I won't be gone that long, God help me if I call them while I'm gone and they don't pick up. I live in this constant fear of them just vanishing off the planet or dying.
And I'm not religious by any means, I'm an atheist really. So the whole "even if they did die you'd see them in heaven one day again" thing doesn't really comfort me at all.