A buddy of mine has a 18 month old son, "Billy". Billy's mother is not in the picture, so my friend is just raising him. My friend is a good man, and he loves Billy, but he has issues of his own right now. He has problems with depression and is even suicidal at times - he's been on antidepressants for years but they don't seem to really work. He is an alcoholic and sometimes drives drunk, smokes a ton of weed around Billy, and does other drugs and often just parties all night. One of his close friends who spends a lot of time in the apartment did time for a vicious attempted murder. Sometimes he'll come over to my place and Billy will just be strapped into the front seat with no carseat or anything, or he'll forget to feed him because he was so high or drunk that night, or other things. He is NOT a bad man, but I'm worried about both him and the boy. I've talked to him about his problems, and he realizes he's screwed up but either he doesn't know how to change, especially when he has to take care of a really young kid.
I'm aware that I could turn him into CPS. I don't want to for a number of reasons - I don't want Billy to end up in the foster system, I dislike getting bureaucracies involved, and I do think that he could be a really good dad and shouldn't have that chance taken away from him. I will if I absolutely need to, but here's my idea first:
I have a 5 year old son and a 3 year old daughter already. Billy could come stay with us and we would treat him as one of our own. while my friend is freed up to spend time on himself and get whatever help he needs - whether that's AA, time in a mental hospital, counseling, whatever. As long as he was sober, he'd be welcome to visit Billy any time he wanted. Once he had taken care of his issues (at least sufficiently enough to raise a child), Billy would go back to live with him again. If he decided he'd NEVER be able to raise a kid well, my wife and I would officially adopt Billy.
My wife and I have already talked this over, but we haven't offered it to my friend yet. Before we do I want to know:
A) What do you think?
B) If he agreed to it, what kind of steps would we have to take so that we could act (at least temporarily) as Billy's guardian?
I'm aware that I could turn him into CPS. I don't want to for a number of reasons - I don't want Billy to end up in the foster system, I dislike getting bureaucracies involved, and I do think that he could be a really good dad and shouldn't have that chance taken away from him. I will if I absolutely need to, but here's my idea first:
I have a 5 year old son and a 3 year old daughter already. Billy could come stay with us and we would treat him as one of our own. while my friend is freed up to spend time on himself and get whatever help he needs - whether that's AA, time in a mental hospital, counseling, whatever. As long as he was sober, he'd be welcome to visit Billy any time he wanted. Once he had taken care of his issues (at least sufficiently enough to raise a child), Billy would go back to live with him again. If he decided he'd NEVER be able to raise a kid well, my wife and I would officially adopt Billy.
My wife and I have already talked this over, but we haven't offered it to my friend yet. Before we do I want to know:
A) What do you think?
B) If he agreed to it, what kind of steps would we have to take so that we could act (at least temporarily) as Billy's guardian?