Parents are offering me rent free accomodation, we have bad history, should I

A

Ashes

New member
accept their offer? I am 22, live in a different country from my parents and have limited contact with my father because he harmed me when I was a child. I don't want to go into detail but he put on a front of being a perfect, middle class citizen, and had anger problems. The violence happened very rarely but was serious, I was completely brainwashed into thinking it was normal so I never reported it to anyone. It is a family secret.

Recently they said they were going to buy a property in this country as an investment and asked me if me and my fiance wanted to live there rent free. My gut reaction is not what I should feel, I should be happy but in some ways I'm worried that my family is trying to control me or buy me off in a way for things that have happened. They have made a point not to consult my soon to be husband about this as far as they're concerned he does not know. They have tried to split us up in the past before they knew him because they didn't like me having outside influences when I was younger as part of the control over me.

Do you think I should trust them and be grateful or should I trust my gut reactions?
 
I think your folkds excluding your partner spells trouble. If it is an investment, they could be renting it out. I would value my peace of mind ahead of free rent and think your gut reaction is reasonable. Talk to your partner if you haven't already. Sounds to me like you can provide for yourselves and can politely say you are right where you are, thank you for the offer. If they were serious about making amends, they could talk to you about things, maybe. That is just my opinion. Good luck.
 
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