...How do we cope with her lies? My sister has 3 young children who I love a great deal and I am a strong loving presence in their life. I do not want to distance my contact with the children as we are very close and it would be very sad for all of us. I am however confused as to how to communicate with my sister. She has recently restarted seeing her ex husband - the children's father. She left him after 5 years of his emotional abuse and numerous affairs. His final affair happened while she was pregnant with their third baby. She left him shortly after their baby was born. The mistress moved into their old house and she got pregnant and had their baby. The mistress has now kicked him out of her and her babies life and wants nothing to do with him.
My sister has now returned to him but says she has not. Despite the fact that they spend time together all the time and go around together as a family. The only thing is they don't live in the same house - yet. Her lies are so blatant its unreal.
How would you advise me to deal with this. Clearly she is making a big mistake - but wont listen to any of our family and after all it is her choice.
We all went to so much effort and pain when she left him - my parents bought a house and rent it to her. Now she is back with him they are lumbered with a mortgage on a house they don't need or want and all the pain and stress and effort and money that was poured into helping her and the kids is down the drain.
My parents have cared for and seen the children more then their own father and they are all very close. Taking the children away from them will be heartbreaking for the children and my parents so non of us wants to rock the boat with my sister and say anything that will make her cut off from us.
I do not want to stop seeing the kids and I have a very strong relationship with them that would be too sad to leave for all of us but how do I 'deal' with my sister and her lies and choices without annoying her but without totally stressing me out with her compulsive lies?
The children could be taken away at anytime if they do a runner with them and it feels so fragile to know what to say to the kids to let them know we would never choose to stop seeing them or leave them by choice. How do we limit their pain in all of this?
My sister has now returned to him but says she has not. Despite the fact that they spend time together all the time and go around together as a family. The only thing is they don't live in the same house - yet. Her lies are so blatant its unreal.
How would you advise me to deal with this. Clearly she is making a big mistake - but wont listen to any of our family and after all it is her choice.
We all went to so much effort and pain when she left him - my parents bought a house and rent it to her. Now she is back with him they are lumbered with a mortgage on a house they don't need or want and all the pain and stress and effort and money that was poured into helping her and the kids is down the drain.
My parents have cared for and seen the children more then their own father and they are all very close. Taking the children away from them will be heartbreaking for the children and my parents so non of us wants to rock the boat with my sister and say anything that will make her cut off from us.
I do not want to stop seeing the kids and I have a very strong relationship with them that would be too sad to leave for all of us but how do I 'deal' with my sister and her lies and choices without annoying her but without totally stressing me out with her compulsive lies?
The children could be taken away at anytime if they do a runner with them and it feels so fragile to know what to say to the kids to let them know we would never choose to stop seeing them or leave them by choice. How do we limit their pain in all of this?