I like your beard.
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Please tell me what you think of my beginning!
If there's any mistakes or punctuation problems, don't fail to tell me as critisism is highly welcomed
Does it drag you it? Does it make you want to read more?
Thanks!
The creature whispered the prophecy in words which seemed like magic. As it spoke, its long, sharp tongue occasionaly slipped from its mouth and slithered its way towards her.
It was so hideous; face a long diamond shape, skin a scaly aquamarine, eyes such a grotesque shade of black, it was just like something from everybody's nightmare.
"Red of ancient blood,
Blue of the poisoned water,
thy Myseria shall lie,
thou shall not awaken till thy tie of female,
Myseria like thou of a Jerpha,
blood bound thou shall be!" It hissed, and a glowing, red tint drowned her eyes as she stood, possessed by the being which stood before her.
The tree's surrounding them seemed to stare without eyes, hear without ears, and feel without hands, as if they knew what was happening. Their spurting branches rustled against each other, creating a rather annoying sound. They seemed intimidating and huge to the monster, after all, they are nature; what he is not. Rain soaked the mud beneath their feet, and every pitter patter on the creatures skin, was returned with a small flinch. Though it still kept its gaze directly on the teenage girl.
Step by step, she placed one unsure foot in front of the other and that's when she was standing face to face with the monster who so desired a gulp of her blood, before his precious Queen.
If there's any mistakes or punctuation problems, don't fail to tell me as critisism is highly welcomed
Does it drag you it? Does it make you want to read more?
Thanks!
The creature whispered the prophecy in words which seemed like magic. As it spoke, its long, sharp tongue occasionaly slipped from its mouth and slithered its way towards her.
It was so hideous; face a long diamond shape, skin a scaly aquamarine, eyes such a grotesque shade of black, it was just like something from everybody's nightmare.
"Red of ancient blood,
Blue of the poisoned water,
thy Myseria shall lie,
thou shall not awaken till thy tie of female,
Myseria like thou of a Jerpha,
blood bound thou shall be!" It hissed, and a glowing, red tint drowned her eyes as she stood, possessed by the being which stood before her.
The tree's surrounding them seemed to stare without eyes, hear without ears, and feel without hands, as if they knew what was happening. Their spurting branches rustled against each other, creating a rather annoying sound. They seemed intimidating and huge to the monster, after all, they are nature; what he is not. Rain soaked the mud beneath their feet, and every pitter patter on the creatures skin, was returned with a small flinch. Though it still kept its gaze directly on the teenage girl.
Step by step, she placed one unsure foot in front of the other and that's when she was standing face to face with the monster who so desired a gulp of her blood, before his precious Queen.