Opinions and feedback on my poem?

shyla

New member
A man there stands
Surrounded by smoke and flame
He bears an axe
I open my mouth to speak
But the words I now lack

With a deep breath
I try to scream
My voice I cannot find
Fear numbs and takes control
The silence screams in mind

The man now comes closer
Raising the axe to strike
He drives down, slicing open my chest
Reaching inside, wrenching my soul
Leaving me heartless

The man walks away
My heart in hand
I fall to the ground
Writhing in pain, struggling to hold on
My breath cannot be found

Blood rushes to the surface
Pooling around me
A mixture of dirt and red
I hear a distant heartbeat
I lay down my head

The smoke is thickening
My sight is blinded
As life starts to fade
Stars so bright above me
Bury me now, in the ground I lay
 
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