world of difference!HELP!? So I know this guy from a college class, and we’ve been close friends for a year. I am deeply in love with him, nothing can compare to how extremely happy I get whenever he sits next to me, compliments me, or whenever we just talk. The thing is, he’s always told me he’s just not the “girlfriend type,” he’s never had a real relationship, but has had many flings. We’ve kissed and stuff before and we are so close as friends as well, I’m the only person he shares his deepest feelings and a lot of his writing and stuff with, but i just know that he doesn’t yet have the maturity to foster a relationship. There was actually a time a few months ago when we got in a fight and I called him to talk things over, but he never even returned my call—again, this just emphasizes that he wouldn’t be a good boyfriend.
But all this just doesn’t stop me from loving him so much, I’ve never loved any other guy like this. He has so many other good qualities—he’s sweet, handsome, caring, and intelligent. He knows how to make me laugh. There are times when I can just distract myself and not think about it at all (which makes me feel better, but just a little and just temporarily), but then there are times he’ll do something which will just make me ache for him more. For example, he just put up a picture on facebook with him and his two year old nephew—things like that just show me how affectionate and sweet he can be, and make me ache for him so badly I don’t even know what to do. Seeing him around his family almost makes me a little jealous, because at least they can have some sort of relationship with him. I want to be able to hang out with him more, (sometimes just being close makes the pain go away for a bit too), but I can’t even do that often—I work two jobs, go to school, and am undergoing for a medical problem (it’s once a week at a clinc two hours away), which also takes a lot out of me. This problem’s also associated with a lot of anxiety, which also makes it too hard for me to be able to fulfill all my responsibilities at work and school, and make time to spend with him. It’s all just so overwhelming for me.
So basically, two major problems: There’s this guy whom I love, but he is not capable of giving me the relationship I want. And even though we are close friends, I cannot make the time to even get closer to him as a friend, due to my anxiety and health problems, and my insanely busy schedule. Whenever I DO see him, my heart just ACHES, knowing that we cannot be more than friends. All of this just crushes my heart into a million pieces, and I just don’t know what to do
Any words of advice would be great! Thanks
PS--He is 30 and I am 22, if that makes a difference in your answers.
But all this just doesn’t stop me from loving him so much, I’ve never loved any other guy like this. He has so many other good qualities—he’s sweet, handsome, caring, and intelligent. He knows how to make me laugh. There are times when I can just distract myself and not think about it at all (which makes me feel better, but just a little and just temporarily), but then there are times he’ll do something which will just make me ache for him more. For example, he just put up a picture on facebook with him and his two year old nephew—things like that just show me how affectionate and sweet he can be, and make me ache for him so badly I don’t even know what to do. Seeing him around his family almost makes me a little jealous, because at least they can have some sort of relationship with him. I want to be able to hang out with him more, (sometimes just being close makes the pain go away for a bit too), but I can’t even do that often—I work two jobs, go to school, and am undergoing for a medical problem (it’s once a week at a clinc two hours away), which also takes a lot out of me. This problem’s also associated with a lot of anxiety, which also makes it too hard for me to be able to fulfill all my responsibilities at work and school, and make time to spend with him. It’s all just so overwhelming for me.
So basically, two major problems: There’s this guy whom I love, but he is not capable of giving me the relationship I want. And even though we are close friends, I cannot make the time to even get closer to him as a friend, due to my anxiety and health problems, and my insanely busy schedule. Whenever I DO see him, my heart just ACHES, knowing that we cannot be more than friends. All of this just crushes my heart into a million pieces, and I just don’t know what to do
Any words of advice would be great! Thanks
PS--He is 30 and I am 22, if that makes a difference in your answers.