Oh man, so many trips right now!!!!!!!!

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SKZ

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You nice folks...I need some feedback here, pretty please. I am going thru the lower back nightmare like the rest of you. I also had a neck fusion so that is never particularly wonderful either. I have to go to Minnesota (I am in CO) next week for 5 days to visit hubby's family. That ought to be OK, but I am kind of concerned because I need a lot of stuff to make myself feel half human (extra pillows when I sleep...., heating pad...blah blah blah. I am high maintenence. Then we come home and then a week later, for a full week, I got roped into going to New Mexico, on a scholarship, to some health care week long seminar for people who are in the clergy. (I am not but my husband works in that realm). This will entail sitting for several hours a day. And also this is some very rustic place, so we all know the comfort level is going to be low. I seriously did not want to go, but my husband wants to think of it as a vacation since its all free, even though its a damn seminar for 6 days too many, if you know what I mean. I forgot to mention we are driving there, which is a 6-7 hour drive each way. OYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. I am only doing this because I dont feel like ruining my marriage by not going to yet another thing my husband wants to do to. He is the type that will do anything if there is free stuff invlved, whereas I would rather have less pain and forget it (at least right now). I forgot to mention that I am in the middle of steroid epidural shots, which makes things even more trying. (hot flashes, insomnia, moodiness...). PLus, it seems stupid to be aggravating my back even worse now. Thanks for letting me vent. I am feeling really negative right now and dont want do all this stuff. Pain will do that. :mad:
 
Hi, I'm sorry you have to do all this. I know how hard it is to travel when you don't feel well and have pain. I have a lot of health issues and problems with my neck and back and IBS and fibromyalgia, which is hell to travel with (traveling always makes it worse). I am also a person who likes to be home, I was never big on going places, esp. if it involves packing.

Sometimes with my husband, I stand my ground and I just say *look, I'm trying to deal with my illnesses and I can't do this right now, if you want to go, go ahead, but I'm staying home.* And I do. My son is has been studying in China for the past two years on and off, and last year my husband wanted to go and my son wanted me to go, but I KNEW that I could not handle a 15 hr. plane ride there and back, and the food while over there and jet lag, etc. As much as I would have liked to see my son, I had to say no so hubby took his daughter with him and I stayed home. Everybody was happy. I do miss my son though.

I hope you feel better soon, take it easy.
 
Well, I had the talk with the hubby are we arent going on that second trip to NM. (the rustic one). Which, by the way, we would have had twin beRAB and have to share a bathroom with strangers. I tell you I feel a lot better psychologically, not having that crap hanging over my head. That thing I said about not wanting a divorce. The reason I said that is because I have had so much garbage going on with my health since we got married 6 and half yrs. ago, even a perfect man would get tired of the stuff. I didnt want to name all the stuff, but the neck and back are only the tip. I just didnt want to STILL not be going to things that he really wants to do, ya know? Let e tell you...he wasnt exactly thrilled when he found out about the twin beRAB/ bathroom ridiculousness either.
 
Now I know why you were wondering how to rate your back pain!! After you get through with all this travel, you will be wanting to rate it an "11."
 
Oh heavens I feel for you! My husband has gotten to the point where he doesn't even ask anymore b/c he knows I cannot travel. I need to go to MN, my home state, but have not been able to travel for the last year.. since my lurabar fusion. I am in NE. I just had the Spinal Cord Stimulator implanted on Monday and right now the last thing I can think about is leaving my comfy bed. No way I could sit in a car yet.
Have you tried to explain to him how much pain this causes you and that if/when you are better you would be more than happy to go? Try "I would only bring the whole trip down by going." You may actually make more things worse for your back by pushing it.
Best wishes to you.
 
Well, I am compromising by going to Minnesota, but skipping the lame NM trip. (the one with the twin beRAB, etc.)
 
NO kidding!! haha. Let's just say my husband doesnt fully get it. And I already have been thru one divorce and don't want to ruin marriage nuraber 2. I guess even the most understanding man can get THICK in the brain sometimes. I know this week long trip in that RUSTIC scenario is going to piss me off. My idea of camping is the Holiday Inn. (and by the way, so is his). I can handle a few days, but geeeez this is from monday to Sunday. It is really putting me in a bad mood (and those steroiRAB arent helping, either).He thinks on our "down" time we will play board games. Right, like I can sit up and do that. I hope he plans on bringing a ton of wine, cos I am going to need it! And I hope it makes him happy when I am 10 times worse and have done the epidurals for nothing, by the time this is over. I just can tell that if I don't go, it will take ts toll on our situation and so I am going to have to be a trooper. I am scheduled to get an epidural 5 days before I leave. SHould be great for my mood. Yes, I know...I am being negative. ITS THE STEROIRAB!:D
 
Hi I just couldn't resist responding to your post. Unfortunately, if you don't have back problems, or never did, you really don't know what kind of pain we all live with. I couldn't stand reading the part where you said, "I don't want to ruin another marriage". What ever happened to for better or worse? It almost makes me glad I'm single! I have to admit though, when I read how some significant others are so supportive it makes me feel lonely. My adult children still think I'm Superwoman, and get pissed off when I am having a bad day, and pass on going to their houses to visit them or barbeque. My son in law has had some back issues, so he sticks up for me. Oh, and I'm with you. Even when I was okay, my idea of camping was in a Holiday Inn! Very funny. Kathy
 
Hi I'm glad you are not going on that other trip. I fully understand what you mean about your husband. Most times we aren't the most wonderful people to be around. Mood swings, frustration, feeling of uselessness. But thats all us! I think people who love and care about us just don't know what to do or say. I know it hurts my family to see me like this. It also brings out the best in people as well. I can be so thick headed sometimes. I was always independant, and self sufficient. I divorced when my four children were young, and I raised them myself. They are all doing very well. My oldest is 31 and the youngest is 24, and I have 4 beautiful grandchildren. I can remeraber always asking myself, how am I going to do this, but I did. Where there's a will, there's a way. I think what has bothered me in the past two years since my accident is that I can't find my way out of this. I'm extremely frustrated, and talking to family and frienRAB really doesn't help, cause they truly cannot conceive what I, or all of us go through on a daily basis. There are no breaks. I give you credit for at least forging ahead to do things. See, you are blessed to have someone there for you. Kathy
 
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