I describe myself quiet,sensitive, shy, genuine and good heart! I feel bad for everything like if I see someone crying, struggle with money issues, hungry, being abused... I try to avoid places with alot people like, parties, clubs, beach
Im 23 years old! When I was a kid, I was happy kid even going through alot things, I use to dance, make friends, go to parties, beach,I was always happy, and I was a good kid, I never did bad things like drinking, drugs, go out at night...!
When I was 12 I started to avoiding people and I was afraid of father, I had to do everything like the way he want because if I don't my father would hit me with anything like a peice of wood, cable cords, heavy metal stick.My father never give me love like a real father would to do to their kids, he never play with his kids, and when he used to see my mom given her kids affection he used to go crazy! He used to hits my mom, get drunk and run after my mom with me and my brother when I was like 2 years old and my brothers 3 and 5 with gun,nife,rocks, I slept in the car with my mom alot times. I used to lock myself in my room for many hours thinking!
with 21 I started hearing voices, like people wanted to kill me, and talking about me and started seen things like my friends breaking my car! ( I used to live with 4 roomates) I was so scared that I called the cops because I thought it was real, and when the cops came by I told them that my friends were breaking my car and when I went to show them my car was fine! I couldn't believe it because I saw them breaking my car! I started panic, I started thinking that Im crazy!
Now with 23, I have a obsessive thinking that people is talking about me, anywhere I go I hear stranges talking about me! I had lost 2 jobs because I started hearing my coworks making fun of me, talking about me and I had to quite I couldn't control! when I feel like that I start feeling dizzy, fear, my heart pumps faster, I start shaking, my face get blushed, I feel pain and I feel myself walking funny, I get a strong headache and see people laughing saying that Im crazy! I was going to work full time and go to school and it was so hard to deal with people because the fears of what they think about me!
I just finish school for medical assistant and I'm about to do an externship at the hospital and Iam afraid to feel like this!
I don't know what I have! I'm always depressed, I live by myself, my parents don't live in this country! I have a brother that lives with his wife, we get in touch like once a month! He doesn't really care about me and it makes me more depressed, Im alone and I don't have friends because I started avoiding them since the day I called the cops because I feel so embaressed with what happen and I'm afraid if they think that Im crazy!
When I feel like this, I go to store and I waste alot money buying perfume and clothes, Im obsessed with smell of perfume, I have over 200! I can't control.. I need help!.
Can someone please give me an idea of what I have? am I crazy??
Please guys help me and don't make fun of me because I'll get more depressed!
thx =)
Im 23 years old! When I was a kid, I was happy kid even going through alot things, I use to dance, make friends, go to parties, beach,I was always happy, and I was a good kid, I never did bad things like drinking, drugs, go out at night...!
When I was 12 I started to avoiding people and I was afraid of father, I had to do everything like the way he want because if I don't my father would hit me with anything like a peice of wood, cable cords, heavy metal stick.My father never give me love like a real father would to do to their kids, he never play with his kids, and when he used to see my mom given her kids affection he used to go crazy! He used to hits my mom, get drunk and run after my mom with me and my brother when I was like 2 years old and my brothers 3 and 5 with gun,nife,rocks, I slept in the car with my mom alot times. I used to lock myself in my room for many hours thinking!
with 21 I started hearing voices, like people wanted to kill me, and talking about me and started seen things like my friends breaking my car! ( I used to live with 4 roomates) I was so scared that I called the cops because I thought it was real, and when the cops came by I told them that my friends were breaking my car and when I went to show them my car was fine! I couldn't believe it because I saw them breaking my car! I started panic, I started thinking that Im crazy!
Now with 23, I have a obsessive thinking that people is talking about me, anywhere I go I hear stranges talking about me! I had lost 2 jobs because I started hearing my coworks making fun of me, talking about me and I had to quite I couldn't control! when I feel like that I start feeling dizzy, fear, my heart pumps faster, I start shaking, my face get blushed, I feel pain and I feel myself walking funny, I get a strong headache and see people laughing saying that Im crazy! I was going to work full time and go to school and it was so hard to deal with people because the fears of what they think about me!
I just finish school for medical assistant and I'm about to do an externship at the hospital and Iam afraid to feel like this!
I don't know what I have! I'm always depressed, I live by myself, my parents don't live in this country! I have a brother that lives with his wife, we get in touch like once a month! He doesn't really care about me and it makes me more depressed, Im alone and I don't have friends because I started avoiding them since the day I called the cops because I feel so embaressed with what happen and I'm afraid if they think that Im crazy!
When I feel like this, I go to store and I waste alot money buying perfume and clothes, Im obsessed with smell of perfume, I have over 200! I can't control.. I need help!.
Can someone please give me an idea of what I have? am I crazy??
Please guys help me and don't make fun of me because I'll get more depressed!
thx =)