slackspacing
New member
There's a lot wrong in my head and it'd take me forever to say everything, so I'll stick to the worst issue.
My mood changes wildly throughout the course of the day, for little or no reason. I can be on top of the world, thinking of a future with my girlfriend and making a family, then a minute or two later deeply considering ending my life, or less drastically moving away from everyone to live on my own
I consider myself fairly good at disguising my bad thoughts, especially over instant messenger - adding a simple '
' works wonders, and noone knows how I feel - which is how I like it. I prefer to keep these thoughts to myself rather than scare people off.
What puts a strain on my relationship with my girlfriend is that I am prime to angry outbursts, mostly due to impatience - I will rush through wherever we go even though we have time to burn, and get angry if she stalls - then a moment later realise how stupid I'm being.*
The main thing that sets off my suicidal moods is me obsessing over pathetic non issues, which are so stupid that I won't go into. I end up working myself up so much that I greatly exaggerate the issue in my head and sometimes cry - all over stupid, minor events. Sometimes a few minute later I can think reasonably and see that I'm going over the top, but I soon spiral back to working myself up.
I'm seeing a councillor in a few weeks so I hope that will help. But I feel like I can't cope til then - the depressive moods are absolutely awful, and very frequent now - I just want to make myself think straight. I'd love if there was a medical condition that makes me how I am because it'd make me understand that it's not just me, so if anyone has any ideas please fire away.
My mood changes wildly throughout the course of the day, for little or no reason. I can be on top of the world, thinking of a future with my girlfriend and making a family, then a minute or two later deeply considering ending my life, or less drastically moving away from everyone to live on my own
I consider myself fairly good at disguising my bad thoughts, especially over instant messenger - adding a simple '
' works wonders, and noone knows how I feel - which is how I like it. I prefer to keep these thoughts to myself rather than scare people off.What puts a strain on my relationship with my girlfriend is that I am prime to angry outbursts, mostly due to impatience - I will rush through wherever we go even though we have time to burn, and get angry if she stalls - then a moment later realise how stupid I'm being.*
The main thing that sets off my suicidal moods is me obsessing over pathetic non issues, which are so stupid that I won't go into. I end up working myself up so much that I greatly exaggerate the issue in my head and sometimes cry - all over stupid, minor events. Sometimes a few minute later I can think reasonably and see that I'm going over the top, but I soon spiral back to working myself up.
I'm seeing a councillor in a few weeks so I hope that will help. But I feel like I can't cope til then - the depressive moods are absolutely awful, and very frequent now - I just want to make myself think straight. I'd love if there was a medical condition that makes me how I am because it'd make me understand that it's not just me, so if anyone has any ideas please fire away.