now what I want. Long time boyfriend with long history or new guy with no job, but...

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darkstar

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...no grief either? K...My boyfriend&I have been 2gether 4 10yrs.In those 10yrs,we've had a lot of good times,but a lot of bad times2.We also have a 3yr old daughter.Neither our families or friends think we should be 2gether,cuz we r just not good4each other.They're sick of seeing us both hurt.In July I caught my boyfriend w/another girl.She's18&we r both30.He says he never touched her,but wtfever.I'm not stupid.I do what I can 2keep us 2gether,but he keeps lying.In August he tells me he wants nothin 2do w/me&splits&threatens 2get a restraining order.Note:This is all happening while living@my sis hs.I get my own apt Sept.6&he all the sudden wants2try2make it work.As far as I know,he stops seeing the 18yr old.Things r getting better&then he goes 2jail 4 90days..In those 90days,a close friend of mine became more than just a friend.We get along really well,no drama,no b.s,he luvs my daughter,he's good@EVERYTHING,K..The 90days 4my boyfriend is up,but I'm not ready.I try 2fake it w/my man,but it's killin me&new guy2.Boyfriend&I get n2 a huge fight cuz I don't want 2come home&I tell him 2split,but I don't tell him what up.Boyfriend is all tore up now over it.Crying&I feel bad,but I'm over it.&Then there's our daughter.So,I keep telling boyfriend that it's going 2work out,but we need space.He still says he's hurt&can't believe this&he wants us 2b 2gether,which gives me hope that we can make it work,but I like new guy a lot,but I miss boyfriend2.So,now it's XMas&boyfriend can't b w/us cuz new guy is here&I haven't told boyfriend about that yet.REALLY though,I dnno what I want.I want 2make it work w/boyfriend,but what is dif now then in July when he wanted nothin 2do w/me?Y all the sudden he's changed?It's not jail cuz he's been there,done that b4.Do I take the risk&keep trying?Or do I give up&stay w/the newbie? HELP!!!
 
i think in this case before thinking about yourself you need to think about your daughter.
1. would you want your daughter to grow up in a household where her parents are constantly fighting?
2. 18 is hardly an adult, perhaps your boyfriend has deeper issues (ones which would make having him around children and teenagers (your daughter) potentially hazardous.
3. would you want someone who has a history of breaking the law in your house influencing your daughter?
these are the important questions you need to ask yourself, and evaluate if the relationship is a healthy one for both you and your child.
i think the new guy sounds like a better option, but you can do better find a guy with a job and some maturity.if not for yourself, but for the sake of your daughter.
 
i think in this case before thinking about yourself you need to think about your daughter.
1. would you want your daughter to grow up in a household where her parents are constantly fighting?
2. 18 is hardly an adult, perhaps your boyfriend has deeper issues (ones which would make having him around children and teenagers (your daughter) potentially hazardous.
3. would you want someone who has a history of breaking the law in your house influencing your daughter?
these are the important questions you need to ask yourself, and evaluate if the relationship is a healthy one for both you and your child.
i think the new guy sounds like a better option, but you can do better find a guy with a job and some maturity.if not for yourself, but for the sake of your daughter.
 
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