Not anti-religious jokes...?

B

Bunts

New member
The Lord said unto Moses 'Starboard 10'. Moses, not being
a seafaring man, put Port 10 on, and landed in the bullrushes.

The Lord said unto Moses 'Come forth'. He came fifth, so
didn't qualify for the next round.

(Yes, it's OK to joke about religion - as long as the jokes don't
mock anyone's beliefs, which these are not meant to do)
The Health & Safety official said to
Jesus....'You are not feeding 5,000 people around here without a Caterer's Licence'
 
A CINDERELLA JOKE!!!!!?
Now we all that cinderella wanted to go the ball but her evil stepsisters stopped her.She felt really sad and wept in the garden.

Suddenly, the fairy godmother appeared before her and said she will help her to grant her desires but under a few conditions

"firstly, u must wear a diaphragm" said the fairy godmother.

cinderella hesitated but finally she agreed

"secondly u must be home before 2 am or ur diaphgragm will turn into a pumpkin" said the fairy godmother.

cinderella refused but the fairy godmother told her about the ball, the food and the handsome princes. So cinderella agreed.

So with her beautiful gown and carriage, cinderella went to the ball.
She enjoyed herself very much.

Meanwhile the fairy godmother waited for her.

time passed really fast:

12 am
1 am
2 am
3 am
4 am

but cinderella was not back yet

Finally, cinderella arrived back at 5 am.

The fairy godmother was really angry and shouted " where the hell have u been, ur diapragm should have turn into a pumpkin

cinderella replied calmly "well it is taken care of"

"by who?" asked the fairy godmother


Cinderella: Peter, Peter the pumpkin eater!
 
This Man is Fishing beside a large Lake, He had been there Several Hours and caught Nothing not a Tiddler. A Priest comes down to the Lake pulls out of His Pocket a small Branch off a Tree,with a piece of Ordinary string connected to the End of the Stick. He just Touched the End of the String and Placed it in the Water, Within Seconds a Large Salmon was Dangling on the String. The Fisherman still in Shock said to the Priest "Help from Above" No! No! replied the Priest. Well, whats the Secret? asks the Fisherman. The Priest says When you get Home Tonight and your Wife is Bending Over to get your Dinner out of the Oven, Rub your Hand between Her legs, its the Best Bait in the World! The Fisherman arrives Home and He just gets through the Door He spots His Wife Bending Over at the Oven, He creeps over and Rubs His Hand between Her Legs,"whoooooooooooo" she said, "Vicar" you Naughty Boy!
 
I'm a christian myself and those were amusing to me, now here is one for you:
Jesus and some fishermen were out at sea. All of sudden some big waves came crashing forth, knocking the boat about and in all this chaos, the men lost one of the oars. They spotted it a few yards out and began to worry, then Jesus said "No problem, I'll go and get it." So he stood up and stepped out onto the water, attempting to walk across until he reached the oar. Unfortunately, he sunk straight to the bottom so the other men reached in and pulled him out. Jesus then said "I don't understand, i was able to do this before!" One of the fisherman answered "Yes, but that was before you had holes in your feet!"
 
And the Lord said to Moses take my people out of the land of CANON but Moses got lost in the wilderness for forty years because he could not find his SATNAV.
 
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