In high school, everyone is crazy about having a social life, because it gives you stuff to talk about. I live with my mom and she moved a lot when I was younger. So when I moved to the city I currently live in, I was expecting to move again, so I decided to not socialize with anybody in my school in the fear that I would lose another friend. We did not move and after about 2 years I started get into these slumps where I didn't feel like talking to anyone or anybody. I started to skip school and I started to feel like I just did not care about anything. This was in 7th grade. Eventually I started skipping school once a week to twice a week. I've been skipping school once to twice a week for about 4years now(I'm in 11th), it's like it is an addiction. The friends I have in school are very few, I don't talk to them unless they bring something up to talk about, even then the conversation is brief. I don't hang out with them outside of school either, I personally don't have the desire to. I do have a small group of friends (about 4-5) that I can only see on the weekends, so I see them a total of probably 2 times a month because of transportation. But when I am in my old city with the friends I see like 2 times a month, I start to be very social. I think I have created a mental wall in my head where I've made my brain think that when I am where I moved to, that I shouldn't socialize. Where I live now has a small school, so everyone knows who I am, I am the "kid who doesn't talk much," so with that label stapled to me, even when I get the courage to talk, the response I get from people is, "Geoff is actually talking?" and I feel awkward with that comment and I can't talk anymore because my mind just goes to a blank. My mind is actually at a blank always while I am at this school also. Like I seriously don't think of anything, I just listen to conversations and do my work. My mind starts to think of things when school is over and I am at home, or when I am practically anywhere else besides this school. I have thought about transferring schools, and going to my old school that is a few miles away, maybe the school has a personal car to pick up special students. I have thought about finishing my education at home because of how awkward I feel in school. I have even thought about smoking pot before I go to school, because then I would not be shy, and when I do smoke pot my mind seems to open up. The only down side to doing this is the smell and smoking pot also makes my not want to do my work. I know a social life isn't what going to school is about, but when I feel like everyone thinks I'm weird, the stress I get is unbearable.
No in school social life?
- Thread starter geoff
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