M
Milehighprnces
Guest
I guess I will start with giving a little back round information about my addiction. It all started about 4 years ago.. with two 7.5 Vicodins... and ended last week ( hopefully ) with ten to fifteen Narcos a day. My addiction started out small when I was 21.. would take a few pills now and then when I needed a lift, and progressed slowly over the next three years. About a year ago.. under the advise of my internet doc.. I switched my medication from Vicodin to Narco (10/325's) for the lesser Tylonal content. When I made the switch.. is when I really started loosing control! I was taking 4-6 Vicodins a day because I was afraid of the Tylonal content... but when I switched to the lower APAP content... I found myself taking more and more each day. I would find myself out of my "medication" a 100 count bottle with in days... and then would have to go to extreme measures and spend obscene amounts of money to get me until I could refill my "medication". I couldn't do ANYTHING if I was without it! I was horrible to be around if I was without! The beginning of the end is when I started lying to my husband... about how much I was taking.. where I was getting it.. and the money I was spending. Last week was the breaking point. I had lied to him once again, and told him I was going to go visit with a friend for a few hours. Well I actually went to a emergency dentist.. put another $200 on his credit card ( I'm a housewife and no longer work) just so I could get a few pills for a "toothache" . When I arrived home he decided he was going to run up to the store. As soon as he said that I got nerves. I had left the RX bag in my car. So I mad an excuse as to why I had to run out of the car real quick and hid the RX bag in the pasinger back pocket. He knew right away.. as soon as he got into my car he started looking around. He found my hiding spot. I watched him from the window in our bedroom as he shuffled through the 30 or so old RX bags.. and my heart just sunk. From erabarrassment.. from shame. Well, needless to say he came inside and gave me the bottom line... this enRAB now, or we do!
Sunday I tried to sleep as much as possible through my w/d's and when I awoke at 3pm.. I started Suboxone. I have been taking 8mgs, and I'm on my third day. If anyone else is taking this in a similar situation I could really use some advise. I'm not sure how I should be feeling at the moment but these are some of the things I'm going through. I can't sleep at night, I feel like Im going to throw up and did yesterday, and I just don't have that normal feeling like so many have reported. Am I not taking a high enough dose? Too much? I'm not under the care of a Doc.. as I have spent all the money we had on my addiction.. so any help would be great! Thanks for taking the time to read my novel! I'm so scarred at this point, I feel like this is my last hope.
Sunday I tried to sleep as much as possible through my w/d's and when I awoke at 3pm.. I started Suboxone. I have been taking 8mgs, and I'm on my third day. If anyone else is taking this in a similar situation I could really use some advise. I'm not sure how I should be feeling at the moment but these are some of the things I'm going through. I can't sleep at night, I feel like Im going to throw up and did yesterday, and I just don't have that normal feeling like so many have reported. Am I not taking a high enough dose? Too much? I'm not under the care of a Doc.. as I have spent all the money we had on my addiction.. so any help would be great! Thanks for taking the time to read my novel! I'm so scarred at this point, I feel like this is my last hope.
But I just wanted to thank you all for your support!! It means the world to me, you have no idea!!! I will post more when I return.