New poem would like opinions? Thanks?

Beth Holland

New member
Sky is black
The rivers are roaring*
Inviting you in
Taking you under

Feel the shards of a broken blade
Stabing into your limbs
Letting out your inocent blood

Tast of dirty river water
Lost of oxygen*
Smell of nothing*

See a reflection of you
In the rusted gun
Laying at the bottom of the river
You hear it calling your name
Reaching out for it
Took it in your grips

Your bodie floating on the surface
Feeling nothing*
Seeing nothing
Tasting nothing*
Smelling nothing
Hearing nothing
Your now just a cold body
That became fish bait**
 
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