New, need support during narcotic detox/recovery. Please!!

[Krazylady]

Hi,

This is my first post, so bear with me. I'll appreciate ANY support offered

I'm having a terrible time trying to survive detox from pain meRAB for chronic pain of Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue. I was on meRAB (Norco and Low dose of Methadone) for a little over 3 yrs. The 3 wks before going to rehab I was down to 2-10/325 Norco and 1-5mg Methadone per day, I didn't think it was that much, but I was wrong I guess.

Around Xmas 09 I woke up and realized how sick I was, feeling so controlled by these meRAB. And since they weren't working much on my pain levels anymore, I decided to go inpt to detox.

My drug usage was a typical gradual increase on doses thru my Dr over these 3 yrs, I never got drugs illegally or did any doctor/pharm hopping. It was all under my Dr's care, who I am very grateful for. He has been a great support over the last 10+ yrs of my horrible existence. My husband was getting very concerned for my health and has been very supportive, but I am soooooo sick still.

In January, I went to an inpt treatment center and took Suboxone for 7 days (they ramped Sub dosage up then down over this wk I was inpt). The hospital discharged me the same day I took my last 2mg dose of Sub. (No outpatient coverage on my Insurance).

I had one full day of feeling like death, then was feeling a bit better altho very shaky and twitchy. They were feeding me Flexeril, Visteril, Tigan, and a few other things; so I was still quite drugged while in the hosp.

Well, I've been home for 11 days and have progressively gotten weaker and my pain is increasing. I honestly feel like I should still be in a hospital, but my insurance would only pay for the detox. I'm trying desperately to hang on, but am sooo discouraged. How long is this going to last?

I'm weak, lightheaded, sweating, chilling, nauseous, headache, aching to the bone all over and getting quite depressed. I can't hardly get out of bed, it's awful.

I know part of it is my FM is flared up and part is the detox. I also quit Dexedrine when I went in the hospital, and that is the only thing that gave me any energy. Without it I'm a zorabie, but I wanted to clean out my system! This is taking much longer than I thought it would.

I'm taking lots of B Vitamins, D, Calcium, Magnesium, B12 shots, NADH, Ibuprofen, and Acetominophen. Trying to do better w drinking and eating, but it's hard when feeling this bad.

All I do is lay here under my electric blanket and wish for sleep....which I'm not getting much of cuz I'm so miserable. I guess I'm being punished for being such a stupid idiot and taking those meRAB for so long, but I actually had better quality of life when I was taking them. Without them I don't know if I will be able to survive and function. The pain and fatigue from my FM/CFS is so overwhelming at times.

So, that's my story and I'm sorry to complain, but dang this is so hard! Any help would be appreciated. Any good support groups besides NA that you all might know of? I couldn't get into the "God" part of the 12 step system, felt like church which made me uncomfortable.

I do have a Dr appt Monday (tomorrow). Is there anything I should ask him about that would help me feel better? I don't even have a clue what else to do, besides waiting it out.

Thank you so much and I hope I can help someone else in return someday.

xoxo K

 

[Boxerluver]

Hey Krazylady, wow have you been through the ringer. If you have pain, I think you have to decide which is worse for you personally, being on pain meRAB or being in pain. From what you said, you were not addicted, you had built up a tolerance from being on pain meRAB for an extended period of time. All of us on pain meRAB do. I see a couple options. Keep going as you are and it is just going to take time for your body to adjust. From what you have said though you will have pain. You could go back on pain meRAB(and from what you said, were not on a very heavy dose)and know that yes your body is dependant on the pain meRAB just like if you had to take insulin for diabetes or meRAB for high blood pressure. Another option would be to go back on the pain meRAB for a certain amount of time and then do a taper with your doc to slowly lower your dosages. This is usually not as hard on the body as a one week detox and would allow your body to adjust with each decrease.

You have to decide if you had a better quality of life on the meRAB. If not and you don't want to be on them anymore that's OK. If you have pain and the meRAB allowed you to do things you enjoy doing then I personally would go back on them and have a quality of life.

I am sorry you are hurting.
Melyssa

 

[Krazylady]

Thanks Bxr......I am so miserable right now. I'm aching to the bone inside and out. Hurts to breathe. I don't know if I'm going to make it thru this.

I totally agree w the quality of life/pain med reasoning. But why doesn't anybody else understand? This misery is no fun, I can't even get out of bed for more than 10 minutes. I know I was dependent on the meRAB, never considered myself an "addict". Like you said, I took those meRAB for a specific physical illness, not for recreation! I am so frustrated.

I do know that they weren't working much anymore. Didn't want to up the dosage again, getting too high. I don't know what I'm going to do. I go to the dr in 2 hrs, we'll see what he says. I doubt he'll want to give me the meRAB back yet, I'm probably stuck where I am for now. Bummer.

 

[Boxerluver]

Krazy, how did you appointment go? Did the doc do anything to help? It's up to you to pursue whichever kind of pain control you are comfortable with. Just to let you know, you were on the bottom of strengths on the meRAB you were taking. So if you were concerned about thinking they were high and then needing an increase, you are actually very low so an increase still wouldn't take you that high. But again that is up to you. If you don't want to use narcotics there are other types of meRAB, I don't know all what you have tried, plus other options to try and keep the pain controlled.

I hope you are doing better!
Melyssa

 

[spuditt61]

hang in there you will make it i was taking about 8 or 9 10mgs of loratab and some times even norkos what ever i could find a day for 9 years so hang in there you will fell bad for a while but find something you like to do like knitting or something time will pass i hope this helps you