new death metal song~*~*~*~*

H

Heath R

New member
adorn her corpse with scraps of metal
impaled perpendicular to the axis of the shoulders
crimson fountains down her torso
aroused to the core of my being

the heat fades from her body
the blood rushes to my loins
love rushes to her lukewarm loins
hanRAB explore the entry wounRAB
on her smooth white back

back arched in posture of pleasure
mouth gaped in ecstasy
her eyes are wide and alight
staring deeply into mine

in that gaze i learn the secrets
of a mediocre life
 
posting in a mappy thread

ignoring the subject matter, this is almost identically delivered to your other stuff. i generally like your writing though.
 
yeah, idk, for paraphilia i just write about necrophilia

i feel its the most fitting topic for death metal, and i'm really into cannibal corpse, so

i should probably post our song about plane crashes

and i'm well aware i structure everything too similarly, whenever i try to change this it just doesn't work idk
 
you've got your own thing dude - it wouldn't hurt to experiment with some different structures, but the way you write (despite being sometimes a little urgh) is to my liking
 
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