mrfunsocks
New member
This post has nothing to do with where the homos relieve themselves. This is about the automation of of our facilities.
The bathrooms at my office have been renovated. All instances of handles, buttons, and levers have been removed. There is an "Eye" on the toilet now, which notates when your ass lifts off the seat and flushes accordingly. The hand-dryers have a motion sensor which turns on when your hands enter its area of operation. The drinking fountain turns on when you stand in front of it.
HOW FUCKING LAZY WILL WE BECOME?! What asshole decided that pushing the lever on the toilet was too much of a strain. What's that you say? Good point. Yes, we flush the toilet before we wash our hands, and god knows how many deadly bacteria await the next hand on that flusher. The problem, however, is that sometimes these electronic eyes don't work. The bigger the shit, the more likely the device fails to flush.
I went into the bathroom the other day, and some kind soul had left an incredible, watery, steaming pile of shit in the toilet. He must've assumed that the toilet would flush itself, as people often do in public restrooms even when its a manual flush. Wrong. Now it's my job to manipulate the electronic eye so that I don't have to have this mans vile excrements splash onto my ass.
But of course, you can't just press the lever down. That would be too easy. Now it's a convenient automated system. So I have to either bend down within inches of the mans incredible waste and put my hand over the eye, slowly moving it back until it flushes violently, and I'm presented with a front row seat to the acrobatics of the giant corny log brigade, or I can choose to sit on the toilet for up to five minutes, then stand, allow the flushing to commence, and ONLY THEN, get down to my own personal business.
Then there's the hand dryer. NOT ONE DAMN PAPER TOWEL in the entire restroom. I could spend 10 seconds drying my hand with a paper towl, but of course, that's not CONVENIENT enough for todays jet set. Now I have to stand there with my hands under the blower for EVER waiting for my hands to dry.
The water fountain always seems to work, but it also works when you don't need it to. Every time you walk by it, it clicks on. What a waste of PRECIOUS LIFE GIVING WATER.
And while I'm on the subject, can I PLEASE open a door for myself anywhere anymore? How god damned hard is it to open a door? Must we automate EVERYTHING? Next thing you know, McDonalds is going to deliver, and our species will evolve into motionless jabba the huts. Movies to your door, Food to your door, shop online, LIVE INSIDE YOUR VIDEO GAMES, your GOD DAMNED WORLD OF WARCRAFT, EVERQUEST. How about you get off your enormous ass and go on a fucking quest to find your missing ankles and knees. Winner gets a free sense of accomplishment.
The bathrooms at my office have been renovated. All instances of handles, buttons, and levers have been removed. There is an "Eye" on the toilet now, which notates when your ass lifts off the seat and flushes accordingly. The hand-dryers have a motion sensor which turns on when your hands enter its area of operation. The drinking fountain turns on when you stand in front of it.
HOW FUCKING LAZY WILL WE BECOME?! What asshole decided that pushing the lever on the toilet was too much of a strain. What's that you say? Good point. Yes, we flush the toilet before we wash our hands, and god knows how many deadly bacteria await the next hand on that flusher. The problem, however, is that sometimes these electronic eyes don't work. The bigger the shit, the more likely the device fails to flush.
I went into the bathroom the other day, and some kind soul had left an incredible, watery, steaming pile of shit in the toilet. He must've assumed that the toilet would flush itself, as people often do in public restrooms even when its a manual flush. Wrong. Now it's my job to manipulate the electronic eye so that I don't have to have this mans vile excrements splash onto my ass.
But of course, you can't just press the lever down. That would be too easy. Now it's a convenient automated system. So I have to either bend down within inches of the mans incredible waste and put my hand over the eye, slowly moving it back until it flushes violently, and I'm presented with a front row seat to the acrobatics of the giant corny log brigade, or I can choose to sit on the toilet for up to five minutes, then stand, allow the flushing to commence, and ONLY THEN, get down to my own personal business.
Then there's the hand dryer. NOT ONE DAMN PAPER TOWEL in the entire restroom. I could spend 10 seconds drying my hand with a paper towl, but of course, that's not CONVENIENT enough for todays jet set. Now I have to stand there with my hands under the blower for EVER waiting for my hands to dry.
The water fountain always seems to work, but it also works when you don't need it to. Every time you walk by it, it clicks on. What a waste of PRECIOUS LIFE GIVING WATER.
And while I'm on the subject, can I PLEASE open a door for myself anywhere anymore? How god damned hard is it to open a door? Must we automate EVERYTHING? Next thing you know, McDonalds is going to deliver, and our species will evolve into motionless jabba the huts. Movies to your door, Food to your door, shop online, LIVE INSIDE YOUR VIDEO GAMES, your GOD DAMNED WORLD OF WARCRAFT, EVERQUEST. How about you get off your enormous ass and go on a fucking quest to find your missing ankles and knees. Winner gets a free sense of accomplishment.