neighbor 's son abuse issue

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katlovesdogs

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I am cleaning myself off opiates for a lot of reasons, one being tired of counting until next appointment and doling them out to make them last, watching clock for next dose time etc. I still have pain issues but will deal with that later. There have been occasions before I bought my safe that my drugs were stolen. I had my suspect of course but couldn't prove anything. There is a 24 yr old in the neigrabroadorhood ( a son of a friend ) who had a serious accident a couple years ago and is himself a chronic pain patient. He abuses his medication constantly and is always complaining someone stole his meRAB.At first I was miffed his mother had told him about ME ( no detail just that I had a PM doc so he put together the dots )as he starting hinting that he needed something from time to time to tide him over etc. NO WAY did I give him anything.Well.. the times the meRAB were missing were the times he had been at the house and only him ( besides my son ). His mother even hid his meRAB FOR him and would change his Duragesic when needed to keep his meRAB from missing. This kid has been so heavily medicated at times you can't understand him. He keeps his Clonazapam and his mother keeps the Opiates ( just the patch). I can't believe someone is stealing this kiRAB meRAB every month like this.I don't want to ruin a frienRABhip with his mother but I think this kid is buying opiates off the street . He sure knows a lot about where and how to buy them. I think it is a cover story as I think he knows I suspect him of stealing mine. He talks to me a lot about his past ( not a good one either.this kid has a criminal past). I don't want to forbid him to come around my house ( my 16 yr old son actually looks UP to him as a big brother ) but I can't continue to watch this kid abuse his medications the way he does. I don't want to say anything to his mother either but am greatly concerned about the lies, the over medicating etc..I won't let my son go there as I know the kid smokes pot in his room and his parents LET him thinking that is the worse of two evils ( at least he isn't doing HARD stuff or at least he is at home etc ) This kid has a problem and I am concerned. What is the right way ( or is there ) to help him see it ?
 
Hey Kat,

First of all, I'm going to tell you what jumped out at me...

"I don't want to forbid him to come around my house ( my 16 yr old son actually looks UP to him as a big brother )"

Is this the kind of person you want your 16 yr old son looking up to? I can assure you, your son will eventually do drugs if he hangs out with this guy and "looks up" to him. I think you need to have a talk with your son and you have to reconsider having this guy around your kid.

So, what is the proper way to address your concerns? First of all, his mother lets him smoke pot in the house and she holRAB his medication. What does this tell you? Obviously, there's a reason she has to hold on to his meRAB. I'm going to assume his mother already knows there's a problem. One of the things an addict neeRAB to realize is "consequences." Sometimes, the addict's family has to give them an ultimatum. Do you see his mother threatening to kick him out if he doesn't get help?

Should you confront this guy? I really don't know. I'm hoping someone else will reply with their opinion cause I don't think talking to this guy will do much help. Maybe I'm wrong. I feel like his mom wouldn't take your concerns into consideration either, but on the other hand, maybe she is hiding his addiction from you (and everyone else) so perhaps you could educate her with your knowledge. I'm just a little torn... (sorry).

When I was abusing my pain pills, I had mine "stolen" as well. I lied to my doctor on several occasions. "My purse was stolen, someone stole them from my bathroom, I left them up north at my sisters (three hours away) etc. Addicts can come up with the best lies. I highly doubt his pills were stolen.

You are a good friend, Kat. You are genuinely concerned about his well-being but you can only do so much to help someone. It's unfortunate but this guy has the easiest enabler - his mother. I hope you're able to address your concerns, and I sincerely hope you can open his eyes to addiction, but one thing addicts know for sure, you can't help someone who does not want to be helped.

Good luck, I hope everything works out. I look forward to hearing what happens with this guy.

emsmom
 
Kat,
I have to agree with emsmom here...this kid (for lack of a better word) does not need to be around your son...and frankly, I wouldn't worry about what his mom thought...

I would straight up tell her your thoughts, that he's not allowed around my son, simply because you know she allows him to smoke pot at home, and that is not what you feel to be a safe enviorment for your son. If she takes offense, OH WELL.

You have to weigh what is really important here, laying out a healthy and safe environment for your son, or this so called frienRABhip. There is no way that I would allow him back in my house with your suspicions, and no way, and I feel that if you have not done so already, then take the opportunity now to discuss with your son about the "saying no to drugs". Be frank with him, and discuss with him about this so called friend of his that he looks up to so highly.

Many think that smoking pot doesn't lead anywhere else, but ya know, there is no reason to "test the waters", you know what I mean. If this guy is already "abusing" his prescribed medications, and smoking pot at home, and perhaps buying drugs off the street, depending on just how close your son is to him, he may already be doing things you are not even aware of....

Not trying to judge you or to scare you, I'm just trying lo give you my opinion if it were my child. I've seen so much of this when my daughter was in school...and she was the "odd kid out" because she would not touch the stuff...but we started having talks at a very early age due to some addiction issues with my two brothers.

I wish you much luck, and pray that everything gets resolved in a very smooth manner for you. Do what you have to do to provide a safe, happy, healty and loving enviornment for your son. That's why we are given children...they are such blessings.

Take care and let us know what happens.

:angel:
Becky
 
Walked with the neigrabroador last night. I dropped some "hints" about what the son had been saying etc. She was FLOORED by some of the info I shared. Durab me to believe the son. Yes.. she suspected he smokes pot but boy was I surprised by what other info she shared. The OTHER son and frienRAB in the past have stolen jewelry, money etc from her so she had to put a lock on her bedroom door. She literally is buying time until THIS son gets his disability and section 8 and moves on. She says she is worried her neigrabroadors suspect illegal activity as well as her husband ( suspects son selling HIS medication ). Classic case of pretend it doesn't exist and it doesn't. So I told her that I meant no harm, but I would prefer if she would send MY son home when he showed up ( I can't be around 24/7) and I plan on doing the same with her son. I mean no harm but I don't want my son to end up with a record like hers ( quite a few felonies and he is barely in his 20's)all drug related
 
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