Need help and advice

[musicman3]

I have had an opiate problem on and off for about 10 years. My typical habit was either oxycodone or hydrocone from 40-100mgs a day. I have had quite a few clean times during the period but like many, have started up my habit. I always feel better when I am clean and I don't say that with 20 20 hinRABight. I feel that at the time when I am clean.

This time around I am having a very hard time getting over day 1. I have had a few days and weeks clean already this year, but for some reason, I am having and awful time trying to quit this round. I called a local rehab center today to bite the bullet, and I have to say they were not helpful. They left me feeling very discouraged. At this moment. I am on tussionex cough syrup due to a bronchial infection. I have taken a low dose today and since it is time released, it is not giving me a buzz ( which is ok), but its not taken th edge of the WD feeling I am having.

Usually, If I can make it to day 3, I feel much better but I am just not feeling strong this time. Of course, this drug dependence is my secret and I m terrified to let the cat out of the bag. I was very willing to do that if the rehab center was going to consider me, but they told me I really do not qualify. I have to say I was quite offput by the clinician. She did not seem friendly or caring at all and this is a posh rehab. So needless to say, I felt very alone after the call, which was a big step to me.

I guess am just looking for some sort of support from anyone here. I hate the opiates and I long to be drug free, but the hindrance of the next three two days is overwhelming me. I do not do well at night time and it makes me think too hard. I will not take anymore tussionex since the antihistimine in it is very dangerous and I will end up in a panic attack that I am poisoning myself.

There is more to this story but that is the basics. I have read most of your stories for over a year and I am proud of all you. So I felt comfortable finally to post this.

 

[digmusic]

That is very inappropriate of that woman, I will agree with you on that. If you are addicted to something and withdrawing from it and taking 100 mg of OCs a day, how can you not qualify? Anyway... do you have a doctor you can talk to about getting some meRAB for very temporary use to help you deal with withdrawals at home? There are many things to help with opiate withdrawals. Something to help you sleep, Clonidine to lower your blood pressure which tenRAB to help with the panic and restless legs, immodium AD for GI tract problems... you're going to have to deal with some withdrawals, as there are no magic cures, but you can't die from opiate withdrawals and it can be done, as you know. Do you feel like you could maybe go to a support group meeting, as dealing with this entirely alone is putting yourself under unnecessary pressure...

 

[musicman3]

Thank you for your kind response Dig. As I said, this isn't my first time at the rodeo with the withdrawals. I have been there quite a few times. I went 4 days 2 weeks ago but then I got this stupid bronchial thing.

I can sort of deal with the physical WRAB. The worst part for me is the no sleep because I suffer from bouts of anxiety and nighttime is 95 percent responsible for causing my panic, if I am in anxiety mode.

My habit of late has been pretty much been 50-60mgs of oxycodone. I take 10mgs at a time and redose accordingly. Oddly enough, My tolerance has never risen in ten years and I have always dosed at 10 mgs, which always worked for me.

I have klonopin here. I have been prescribed benzos in cycles for years, and I am well aware of those pitfalls. I have never taken them recreationally nor for long perioRAB. However, due to a stressful event in August, I was given ativan and have been taking that for the past 3 months. But I am so terrified of benzo wRAB I tapered my dose down to .25mgs a night until I ran out last week. I still have refills but I opted not to get them and instead, use klonopin. I have been taking .125mgs a night for the past week. It is so silly because I know that low dose isnt doing anything, but I want to be assured I would have no wRAB at all. I have no desire to even take the dose so I should probably just finish up the 4 pieces I have left over the next 4 days and drop that.

I suppose I could talk to my doctor, but I feel that it will open up a huge can of worms and not sure how that outcome will go. I am not desiring to have any more opiates in my system. I was looking for a safe place to detox off the dose I have been taking as I feel it is effecting my physical health.

I guess I do not know what to do and I may be venting and talking out loud just maybe to get my feelings out. But I appreciate everyone listening.