If i could take it all back I wouldn't change a thing
Let me show you how my love has changed.
Here is my diary.
this is for my personal benefit, don't read if you don't care.
Journal Entry
December 9th, 2008 5:20 pm
"I just got asked out by the best guy in the whole world
i'm so happy, I can't stop smiling.
I've liked him for a pretty long time now.
I just have a feeling, this is it, he's the one.
"
Journal entry
January 3rd 2009
"...I basically made him break up with me,
why? why? why can't I ever let myself have something I love?
I did everything on purpose, I pushed his every button,
waiting for him to break up with me.
I guess I did it, so no one would hurt in the end.
but the only one hurting is me. I fell harder than i've ever imagined.
I just want him to take me back."
Journal Entry
Febuary 14th 2009
"this was supposed to be our day.
I fucked it up all over again."
Journal Entry
March 23rd 2009
"Shoot me."
Journal Entry
May 3rd 2009
"FUCK THEM, FUCK THEM ALL. i'm tired of tears, of misery,
i'm tired of BULLSHIT!
I fucking hate everything about this fucking school about this fucking life!
I hate him!
....god dammit. I love him."
Journal Entry
August 4th 2009
"it's my birthday, and he's still on my mind.
Don't worry. It will all be over soon."
Journal Entry
October 4th 2009
"I'm going out with Ruben. Thought it would help me move on
Too bad all I want is you."
December 9th 2009
"i bet he doesn't remember at all.
this has been one year of mistakes
The first mistake made was hugging him and letting go."
Journal Entry
December 25th 2009
"all i want for christmas is for you to be happy."
Journal Entry
January 1st 2010
"who would have known i'd be here,
still more in love than ever to this very day, now.
A year ago, i could have fixed everything.
If I could go back, i'd change it all."
Journal Entry
January 15th
"Diary, prepare yourself. I'm spilling my guts.
I know this boy. He is the most important person in my life. I love him more than most anyone could ever imagine. I think i'm pretty damn lucky. I'm 14 years old, and i've been in, and all around love. But I fell in love when I was still only 13. I guess I just didn't notice it yet.
Before I even start, let me tell you how beautiful this boy is. Picture the most gorgeous person you know, and multiply that by a million. That's how beautiful he is. Every single aspect of him is perfection. He just shines with a radiance that makes your heart fall. He's a breathtaking kind of wonderful, My kind of wonderful.
Now let's try to get a glimpse of exactly how much I love him. I love this boy more than i've ever loved someone. I'd give my life for him in a second. Anything to keep him safe and happy. I love him just a bit more everytime he pops into my mind. He deserves every single bit of everything. Everything his little heart could ever want. He's a part of me now, he has a hole in me. A hole I thought I could fill up with someone or something else, but I couldn't. Because this hole only molds perfectly with the presence of him. Ha, i love him. I love him so much.
Now, let me clarify. If he needs me by his side, i'll be there before he could ask. If he wants me gone, I would be gone before he could complain. And let me clarify, He makes me the happiest, person in the world. He's the best. But I sware I hate his guts.
Confused? good. now you're caught up on my level."
Journal entry
February 14th 2010
"a year ago... fuck it. There's no use in living in the past."
Journal Entry
February 21st 2010
"He brought me through hell and back, but also through Heaven, through a paradise, that I thought would never leave. But then.. here I am long gone.
I learned he is nothing but a hollow empty shell of a person.
I know why I loved him.
I know why I fell in love with him.
There was a sparkle to his eyes, a warmth to his smile.
He made me feel, secure.
He was the first person to ever make me feel.. happy.
It's all gone now. He's empty and sad. There's no pure happiness left in him.
I look at him now, and I see the smile on his face, and hear the laughter that rings through the room.
But that doesn't fool me. He's not happy, If you think he is.. take another look.
I wish I could help him. But I don't love him anymore.
I'm completely in love with the way he used to be.
who he used to be.. THAT boy, is the boy I never want to let go of.
that's the boy that's a part of me.
there used to be a beautiful ray of sunshine that followed him every where he went.
He was the smile when everyone was sad. The hope when everyone gave up.
Now he's the one who's given up. He gave up a long time ago.
there's no saving him now. I wish I could bring back the sparkle to him.
I will always love him just for being him.
always. Because, he was my first and only love, and you don't forget people like him, he's to special.
I will always give my life for his in an instant.
I wil
Let me show you how my love has changed.
Here is my diary.
this is for my personal benefit, don't read if you don't care.
Journal Entry
December 9th, 2008 5:20 pm
"I just got asked out by the best guy in the whole world
i'm so happy, I can't stop smiling.
I've liked him for a pretty long time now.
I just have a feeling, this is it, he's the one.
"Journal entry
January 3rd 2009
"...I basically made him break up with me,
why? why? why can't I ever let myself have something I love?
I did everything on purpose, I pushed his every button,
waiting for him to break up with me.
I guess I did it, so no one would hurt in the end.
but the only one hurting is me. I fell harder than i've ever imagined.
I just want him to take me back."
Journal Entry
Febuary 14th 2009
"this was supposed to be our day.
I fucked it up all over again."
Journal Entry
March 23rd 2009
"Shoot me."
Journal Entry
May 3rd 2009
"FUCK THEM, FUCK THEM ALL. i'm tired of tears, of misery,
i'm tired of BULLSHIT!
I fucking hate everything about this fucking school about this fucking life!
I hate him!
....god dammit. I love him."
Journal Entry
August 4th 2009
"it's my birthday, and he's still on my mind.
Don't worry. It will all be over soon."
Journal Entry
October 4th 2009
"I'm going out with Ruben. Thought it would help me move on
Too bad all I want is you."
December 9th 2009
"i bet he doesn't remember at all.
this has been one year of mistakes
The first mistake made was hugging him and letting go."
Journal Entry
December 25th 2009
"all i want for christmas is for you to be happy."
Journal Entry
January 1st 2010
"who would have known i'd be here,
still more in love than ever to this very day, now.
A year ago, i could have fixed everything.
If I could go back, i'd change it all."
Journal Entry
January 15th
"Diary, prepare yourself. I'm spilling my guts.
I know this boy. He is the most important person in my life. I love him more than most anyone could ever imagine. I think i'm pretty damn lucky. I'm 14 years old, and i've been in, and all around love. But I fell in love when I was still only 13. I guess I just didn't notice it yet.
Before I even start, let me tell you how beautiful this boy is. Picture the most gorgeous person you know, and multiply that by a million. That's how beautiful he is. Every single aspect of him is perfection. He just shines with a radiance that makes your heart fall. He's a breathtaking kind of wonderful, My kind of wonderful.
Now let's try to get a glimpse of exactly how much I love him. I love this boy more than i've ever loved someone. I'd give my life for him in a second. Anything to keep him safe and happy. I love him just a bit more everytime he pops into my mind. He deserves every single bit of everything. Everything his little heart could ever want. He's a part of me now, he has a hole in me. A hole I thought I could fill up with someone or something else, but I couldn't. Because this hole only molds perfectly with the presence of him. Ha, i love him. I love him so much.
Now, let me clarify. If he needs me by his side, i'll be there before he could ask. If he wants me gone, I would be gone before he could complain. And let me clarify, He makes me the happiest, person in the world. He's the best. But I sware I hate his guts.
Confused? good. now you're caught up on my level."
Journal entry
February 14th 2010
"a year ago... fuck it. There's no use in living in the past."
Journal Entry
February 21st 2010
"He brought me through hell and back, but also through Heaven, through a paradise, that I thought would never leave. But then.. here I am long gone.
I learned he is nothing but a hollow empty shell of a person.
I know why I loved him.
I know why I fell in love with him.
There was a sparkle to his eyes, a warmth to his smile.
He made me feel, secure.
He was the first person to ever make me feel.. happy.
It's all gone now. He's empty and sad. There's no pure happiness left in him.
I look at him now, and I see the smile on his face, and hear the laughter that rings through the room.
But that doesn't fool me. He's not happy, If you think he is.. take another look.
I wish I could help him. But I don't love him anymore.
I'm completely in love with the way he used to be.
who he used to be.. THAT boy, is the boy I never want to let go of.
that's the boy that's a part of me.
there used to be a beautiful ray of sunshine that followed him every where he went.
He was the smile when everyone was sad. The hope when everyone gave up.
Now he's the one who's given up. He gave up a long time ago.
there's no saving him now. I wish I could bring back the sparkle to him.
I will always love him just for being him.
always. Because, he was my first and only love, and you don't forget people like him, he's to special.
I will always give my life for his in an instant.
I wil