My wife and i have been together for almost 2 1/2 years. We have a 15 month old daughter. Throughout the pregnancy and thereafter my wife had no sex drive and an extreme lack of interest in sex. To please me she would always "lay there and take it" (as she likes to say) to take care of my needs despite her lack of interest. After a year and a half of this ongoing she has completely lost any and all interest of having any sort of intimate contact with me due to "mental scarring" i had caused her by "forcing" her to please me. Unfortunately being the typical pig headed guy i had not thought "well she may not be in the mood but let me try and see if i can satisfy her before i begin". I am now kicking myself daily because there seems to be no way to erase the past and she is completely unwilling to try and experiment with me pleasuring her and us reacquainting ourselves with each other. We had discussed seeing a therapist regarding the subject but after more than 8 months of this problem getting worse and more painful to deal with i think that there is no way to win her back and change her thinking. We are both in our late 20's and neither of us wants to be in a sexless marriage. Although we love and care about one another we do not want to continue on for the next 1-40+ years without being sexually satisfied by one another. Does anyone have any advice or experience with this subject? Somebody please help, this is the woman of my dreams and i do not want things to end this way!!!
just to clarify and sum up the real problem is that by taking advantage of her good will to take care of my needs it has completely turned her off from being sexually interested in me. That is the hurdle i am trying to get over!
in response to "Fran &" not to toot my own horn but ive been advised of the helping out around the house stuff and for that matter im the super man of hubby's. Aside from working 3 jobs to make sure we are more than comfortable i never stop trying to help with the baby or do little things including housework and laundry that will lighten her load. I even quit a great job out in california and re-relocated back to NY (to our hometown) for the sake of trying to better the situation... that worked for about a month till i realized that it was not a permanent solution and i shouldnt have dicked out on that wonderful opportunity.
just to clarify and sum up the real problem is that by taking advantage of her good will to take care of my needs it has completely turned her off from being sexually interested in me. That is the hurdle i am trying to get over!
in response to "Fran &" not to toot my own horn but ive been advised of the helping out around the house stuff and for that matter im the super man of hubby's. Aside from working 3 jobs to make sure we are more than comfortable i never stop trying to help with the baby or do little things including housework and laundry that will lighten her load. I even quit a great job out in california and re-relocated back to NY (to our hometown) for the sake of trying to better the situation... that worked for about a month till i realized that it was not a permanent solution and i shouldnt have dicked out on that wonderful opportunity.