My wife is just not listening ,my Ex ruined and strained our relationship?

A

Antoni Kowalski

New member
Hi there, Here it goes ,i have two boys both teenagers who i took care of since they were of a young age as there mother is not in the picture.I stayed with my children and took care of them for the last 11 years of there lives .I never touched a woman for years was not interested in women after my wife betrayed me and didn't date.I then met the most incredible woman at my brothers wedding.we clicked instantly and after telling my boys if it was ok with them we got into a relationship,this was about five years ago.She became the mother figure of the family and my boys loved her.we took things slow and then married a year and a half ago since then we had a baby together last january and she is pregnant with our second which is due in december of this year. Now things are ruined due to the return of my Ex wife,she demanded to see her boys i don't know if i made the right choice or not in allowing it but i was afraid she would take custody if i didn't.i work night shifts for a transport company ,my ex obviously took note of times i worked because she entered my home when i was at work and basically told my wife rubbish lies that i was cheating and that i was only using her like i used my Ex.She also said other harsh things.when i came home my wife was torn apart we kept fighting she didn't want me near her resisted me and i felt i was in her way.I have begged on my knees i never cheated EVER.i learnt how lies can be such poison and then my Ex began sending text message anonymously to make it look as if i was and my wife saw them.She eventually left me for a few days to think and to make a decision im afraid she wont come back and i wont be there for the birth of our second child.I love this woman tremendously and i am not eating or sleeping i even gave up going to work,i can't see any future if she is gone im devastated and i can't cope at the moment .My Ex has ruined my relationship with this women.I am swiss my wife is Irish and she only stayed in switzerland because we met im afraid that she will return to her home country of ireland.I do not know How to convince her i never did anything wrong.show her i love her to bits and for her to trust me again i need help!How do i show her i need her in my life? and how do i get my Ex out of my life Forever?
She got my number because she wanted to be able to contact me when the kids were coming home etc But i think it WAS a huge mistake!
 
i agree with the 1st answer
change your number and when they are coming home, THEY can contact you not her, you say they are teens, they are old enough to have that responsibility

i know it shard but get yourself back to work
the last thing you need is loosing your job now
your wife needs time, but do not cease contact with her
show her you are trying everything you can to get your ex from your life

good luck, i hope it all works out for you
 
a huge mistake? this is the mother of your kids.and you knew sooner or later she was gonna come back in the picture
you cannot take her kids away from her
and dont blame your ex for your mistakes.
you can get mad all you want but that is the truth
i mean come on your ex was with you before and you guys had kids together
she knows you and your ways
maybe she told her to spare her the hurt and what she was in for
 
My first suggestion if you havent already done so is to get legal custody of your sons through the courts. This way your ex cannot just take your sons. Also, how did your ex get your cell number to send you a text? Have you had the same number for 11 years? Change your phone number. Give your wife time...to think. When she has had a couple days to think things over, give her a call or visitl. Tell her what you told us about how much you love her. The best thing you can do is to be up front and honest. Exes are never easy to deal with weather its your ex or your spouses so try to be understanding of her feelings.
 
First get legal advice if you can or get the police involved to keep her away.I know how you feel.I was betrayed too.With your ex,it is all about control.the one who is acussing you of cheating is the biggest cheater on the planet.Talk to your present wife in a calm and rational way.If possible get family or friends co-workers to vouch for you and your chatracter.Ask you present wife to evaluate your behaviour and your coming and going.Have you payed her less attention,too tired for sex,getting in better shape,eating healthier,buying new underwear,spending money that can't be accounted for,disappearing mysteriously.If the answer is not to these i'd say you are like me the...........a good guy.Know your legal right,that's important here.
 
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