My wife decides with her parents about their visit to us (without discussing with

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Dani D

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me), what can I do? My wife and i just married three months ago and have our first baby. My wife makes ultimate decision with her parents (without discussing with me) for them to come and visit our baby (almost every month). We had bad experience in their last visit and we are working on it (through counseling) but my wife still wants to dominate me by saying that she is privileged to do every decision as a white (and i am immigrant (legal)). Is it true that I have no rights to decide on her parents' visit to our baby? I felt so excluded with my fatherhood and parenthood role with baby during their frequent visit. I don't want that to happen again. What shall i do? Please advise.
 
That is highly annoying. I call that new mommy syndrome, but playing a race card is downright ignorant. You have as much say in who comes into contact with your children into your home as she does, regardless if it is her parents or not. You need to set her in her place, and no, that does not make you an asshole because she is blantently disrespecting you. Tell her exactly how it makes you feel, tell her you do not appreciate it and be sure to stress that you want an active role in your family. Most importantly, stay calm. Talks like this escalate very fast. Good luck hun.
 
If she is disrespecting you and being prejudice of your ethnicity, what kind of wife is she? You do have a right to say something. Its your child too. Especially if it is a huge decision. It should be made with you and her parents should be finding out the decision when she tells them. They shouldn't be helping her make it, when it comes to your kid.
 
Visiting a new grandchild almost every month isn't much in my opinion, if you said every week for a few hours, I still say what's wrong with that. I have 5 grandchildren and I'm always welcome, my children call me to come over. You have other issues and I don't believe it's your in-laws visiting, it's good that you're counseling to work through whatever is going on.
 
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