anything that can be done? I have a 7 month old grandson that I have only seen once since he has been born. My sons girlfriend says she doesn't want her child around anyone in our family because we are not the kind of example she wants for her child.
When we first met this girl, it was during a family gathering about a year and a half ago. We are from a small town and she is from a major city about 7 hours away. My son brought her home for a holidays for the weekend. My son introduced her to us all, but after that, nobody acknowledged her presence at all. I personally didn't mean to be rude, but it was a very busy weekend and I just didn't have time. Also, as we are small town folk, we are not really use to outsiders and if an outsider does come along, they kind of have to be the ones to perk up a relationship.
The whole time she was there, she didn't drink with us, and was not trying to be sociable. Later I found out the reason she was not drinking is because she was pregnant. Well some family members took that as an insult when she turned down drinks. She did not make any sort of effort to talk to us so it kinda was what it was. Everyone in the town was talking about this girl for weeks after she came, because well...We had never had a black person in our town, and it was just different and she was so beautiful. But bad things were also being said about her. Not by me personally but some people in the family. Things like she is snobby, she's a b*tch etc etc. Word gets back to her and now she hates us all. She said none of us talked to her, so she didn't talk to us either and it was our job to make her feel comfortable and welcome, even if we didn't like her out of respect for my son. She says we are 'hillbilly rednecks' and we are uncivilized which is why we don't know how to treat people. She made it a point to tell someone who is close to us these things, and even told the person she said this to, to tell us SHE said that. She wanted us to know her insults. She also said we are racist because we used the word 'colored' and said that the fact we even brought up her race means we are racist.
My grandson was born and being that we are a close family, we want him to be a part of our family. My son lives about 4 hours away from us, and she lives 4 hours away from him. She brings my grandson to see my son all the time, yet I have seen my grandson once. I apologized to her on behalf of my family. She said she forgives us, but the damage is done. She says first impressions last forever, and she doesn't want her child to be around people who act in such a way. She doesn't want her child to think its ok to talk bad about people that he doesn't know, who never did anything to them. She thinks these are the lessons we will teach her child.
What can be done about this situation.? Does it seem to you as if she is using her son to hurt my family? Is a little gossip reason to keep a child away from his family? Any advice is appreciated. Thank you.
I asked the question once before but it was in the UK section I realized so I posted again in the US. Sorry if you have read this twice.
When we first met this girl, it was during a family gathering about a year and a half ago. We are from a small town and she is from a major city about 7 hours away. My son brought her home for a holidays for the weekend. My son introduced her to us all, but after that, nobody acknowledged her presence at all. I personally didn't mean to be rude, but it was a very busy weekend and I just didn't have time. Also, as we are small town folk, we are not really use to outsiders and if an outsider does come along, they kind of have to be the ones to perk up a relationship.
The whole time she was there, she didn't drink with us, and was not trying to be sociable. Later I found out the reason she was not drinking is because she was pregnant. Well some family members took that as an insult when she turned down drinks. She did not make any sort of effort to talk to us so it kinda was what it was. Everyone in the town was talking about this girl for weeks after she came, because well...We had never had a black person in our town, and it was just different and she was so beautiful. But bad things were also being said about her. Not by me personally but some people in the family. Things like she is snobby, she's a b*tch etc etc. Word gets back to her and now she hates us all. She said none of us talked to her, so she didn't talk to us either and it was our job to make her feel comfortable and welcome, even if we didn't like her out of respect for my son. She says we are 'hillbilly rednecks' and we are uncivilized which is why we don't know how to treat people. She made it a point to tell someone who is close to us these things, and even told the person she said this to, to tell us SHE said that. She wanted us to know her insults. She also said we are racist because we used the word 'colored' and said that the fact we even brought up her race means we are racist.
My grandson was born and being that we are a close family, we want him to be a part of our family. My son lives about 4 hours away from us, and she lives 4 hours away from him. She brings my grandson to see my son all the time, yet I have seen my grandson once. I apologized to her on behalf of my family. She said she forgives us, but the damage is done. She says first impressions last forever, and she doesn't want her child to be around people who act in such a way. She doesn't want her child to think its ok to talk bad about people that he doesn't know, who never did anything to them. She thinks these are the lessons we will teach her child.
What can be done about this situation.? Does it seem to you as if she is using her son to hurt my family? Is a little gossip reason to keep a child away from his family? Any advice is appreciated. Thank you.
I asked the question once before but it was in the UK section I realized so I posted again in the US. Sorry if you have read this twice.