My sister-in-law plays favorites with her daughters...is there anything i can do?

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Jaxon's Mommy

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My sister-in-law has two children, ages 5 and 13, both girls. She's a sigle mom, who just got a divorce. I feel horrible for her 13 year old! Not only does she have to deal with her parents divorce, but she's also dealing with the way her mom treats her.

My sister-in-law plays favorites. She'll take her youngest daughter shopping and out to eat all weekend, and she'll leave her oldest home alone. She tells her she is an embarrasment and can't go with. If her youngest does anything wrong, she'll blame her oldest, and tell her "well you taught it to her." I'm thinking, well who taught it to your oldest?? It makes me sick the way she treats her! Her youngest has never been disciplined, and gets whatever she wants. She will tease her older sister until she snaps on her, and then will tattle and she'll punish her oldest! I feel like her younger daughter knows what she's doing, and knows how to get her sister in trouble. She has called us crying saying her mom chased her around the house with broom, spatulas, wooden spoons. She has been locked out of the house, and is not given a key because her mom says she doesn't trust her! The mom has never been consistant with discipline, it's almost as if she doesn't want to be bothered by it. Her oldest isn't perfect, but compared to alot of thes e little girls who are already drinking and running the streets, she's an angel. She can get a smart mouth, but i feel like i'd do the same thing if my mom treated me like that. She never shows love towards her daughter at all. She's come to us crying because she writes letters to mom and tells her she wants to spend time with her and that she loves me, but her mom never changes, and she NEVER gets alone time with her mom, her sister always has to be included. Her mom has never done these things to her younger sister, and in mom's eyes, the little girl is an angel. My husband agrees, but we don't know how to aproach her, or if it's even our place to say anything. It's breaking my heart to see this, and we've thought about letting her come stay with us for awhile. Is it appropriate to bring this up to her mother?
she has told her dad about this, but he's so upset over the divorce that he's blows her off. he does tell her she can live with him, but she doesn't want to leave her sister, and still wants her mothers love
 
Aww! I feel bad for her...You guys should hold a "serious talk" family meeting, and make the mother listen-- I say you guys because your niece needs someone there to support her. The five year old needs to be kept in another room; so it will just be the 13 year old, her mother and supporter(s). The 13 yr old & supporter need to express how serious this is to her, and how she's feeling, and what she would like done--And let mom have her say so--again this needs to be a real meeting, and if the mother refuses to listen...The supporters need to talk to the 13 year old and be an encourager; she's doing well for her age, and let her know she is important and that her mom is just being immature and doesn't know how to deal with her situation--

But I can't express enough that the 13 year old needs real supporters in her life, and someone she can talk to and come to for advice, and comfort.
 
Aww! I feel bad for her...You guys should hold a "serious talk" family meeting, and make the mother listen-- I say you guys because your niece needs someone there to support her. The five year old needs to be kept in another room; so it will just be the 13 year old, her mother and supporter(s). The 13 yr old & supporter need to express how serious this is to her, and how she's feeling, and what she would like done--And let mom have her say so--again this needs to be a real meeting, and if the mother refuses to listen...The supporters need to talk to the 13 year old and be an encourager; she's doing well for her age, and let her know she is important and that her mom is just being immature and doesn't know how to deal with her situation--

But I can't express enough that the 13 year old needs real supporters in her life, and someone she can talk to and come to for advice, and comfort.
 
Aww! I feel bad for her...You guys should hold a "serious talk" family meeting, and make the mother listen-- I say you guys because your niece needs someone there to support her. The five year old needs to be kept in another room; so it will just be the 13 year old, her mother and supporter(s). The 13 yr old & supporter need to express how serious this is to her, and how she's feeling, and what she would like done--And let mom have her say so--again this needs to be a real meeting, and if the mother refuses to listen...The supporters need to talk to the 13 year old and be an encourager; she's doing well for her age, and let her know she is important and that her mom is just being immature and doesn't know how to deal with her situation--

But I can't express enough that the 13 year old needs real supporters in her life, and someone she can talk to and come to for advice, and comfort.
 
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