im 16
before this year I have always been 100% hetero, I really mean that, if a guy ever had've hugged me I wouldve been uncormfortable or freaked out, Ive kissed plenty of girls and liked it, and liked holding them and stuff, I knew I liked girls since I was about 5, when me and my female cousin would always fool around, creepy I know. When I hit puberty at 13 I loved porn, I hated ******* scenes and loved lick out scenes. When I masturbating to female porn at the end of Janurary a few months back, I was curious to see if I could suck my own penis, I reached, and ever since I have been a wreck thinking im gay, I sleep talk saying "thank god im not gay" but its weird now, I have to look at all guys sexualy when I dont want to. I have never gotten an erection fron a guy, or guy porn, or guy thoughts. I do still masturbate daily to girl porn and stuff but when I know im not sexually attracted to guys, I always think to myself what do I find good about a vagina? But its all i fantasize about during masturbating-girls-girls-girls, but then I think whats so good about a vagina? even though thats what turns me on? and when I see a good looking guy-eg-John Travolta in his day I get really anxious. I think if i was gay I would get erections from guys, but I dont. I dont want to be with a guy, Im afriad when im around my male friends incase I make a move on them or they make one on me so I just stay inside. Am I what ive always been? I also had a dream last night when I had sex with a girl and it was amazing. I just cant really explain this, but its caused so much depression in my life, I am isolated. I just want to know tbh. If I hadnt of sucked my penis btw this all wouldnt have happened.
before this year I have always been 100% hetero, I really mean that, if a guy ever had've hugged me I wouldve been uncormfortable or freaked out, Ive kissed plenty of girls and liked it, and liked holding them and stuff, I knew I liked girls since I was about 5, when me and my female cousin would always fool around, creepy I know. When I hit puberty at 13 I loved porn, I hated ******* scenes and loved lick out scenes. When I masturbating to female porn at the end of Janurary a few months back, I was curious to see if I could suck my own penis, I reached, and ever since I have been a wreck thinking im gay, I sleep talk saying "thank god im not gay" but its weird now, I have to look at all guys sexualy when I dont want to. I have never gotten an erection fron a guy, or guy porn, or guy thoughts. I do still masturbate daily to girl porn and stuff but when I know im not sexually attracted to guys, I always think to myself what do I find good about a vagina? But its all i fantasize about during masturbating-girls-girls-girls, but then I think whats so good about a vagina? even though thats what turns me on? and when I see a good looking guy-eg-John Travolta in his day I get really anxious. I think if i was gay I would get erections from guys, but I dont. I dont want to be with a guy, Im afriad when im around my male friends incase I make a move on them or they make one on me so I just stay inside. Am I what ive always been? I also had a dream last night when I had sex with a girl and it was amazing. I just cant really explain this, but its caused so much depression in my life, I am isolated. I just want to know tbh. If I hadnt of sucked my penis btw this all wouldnt have happened.