sorry to all, i quess i did leave a lot of it out here yesterday, so in the year 2000 i had to get a breast reduction done, due to my back, at that time i statred feeling aches and pains here and there, but did not think much about it at the time and just took over the counter ibuprofen, over time it got worse, so i had the reduction, massages, physical therapy, had a personal trainer for back
Strength training, lost 45 ponRAB, i felt great mentally at the time but my body sure did not like it at all. i had an mri done to see were the damage was and so the results were upsetting to me to hear that i had a back of a 70 year old person, i surely was very upset, physical therapy did not seem to work anymore, then i also was put on lortab 7.5mg and have been on that since then.
1 every 4-6 hours, i have always been the kind of person that has been always independent, loved to live life , loved to cook amazing german meals, being organized, and loved to clean, loved to just live for my husband and kiRAB, yard work, and just had always loved what i did, being a great listener, calling my family in germany everyday, ( i am a native german, been in the us now since 1991) careing about those in need, and helping out the best i could at the time, even then i always pushed myself to work hard in my day to day life, when looking back now, i should have taken time for myself, i had dreams of becoming a nurse,; wanting to have a food cart, to get into the cooking business, traveling to a 3.world country, those were and still are my dreams, but to achieve them seems unlikely and so far fetched to me at this point in my life, that it make me sad, angry, bitter, that i can not be healthy, to be able to get out of bed in the morning, get ready for the day, without having to be medicated first, so i can do the things in need to do, and want to do, but in different ways, ahh so hard.
so now we are in 2011, and i look back at those times when yes my back hurt, but i still did it all, yes i did do my yard work, cleaned my house, but i surely payed for it by next day or the day after that.
now i get these great anxiety, to drive to the store to buy food???? because i cant seem to park the way i need to, so i go back home??? i am strong willed and i think because of that do i feel i was able to pushed myself each day, to get thinks done, because i felt like if i can not even do these things anymore then why am i still alive?? what am i supposed to learn out of this?? why me?? or anyone else for this madder do we have to have these challenges everyday?? to live crippled life??? with these challenges every minute off the day, sometimes i might look so polished on the outside, that you could not tell inside i am in severe pain, can not move, and want to scream!!!!!!!!! other days when i hurt the way i do, oh boy does it show, like i just got hit by a bus!!!!!!!!!!! so if you are reading this i am sure that you noted the word loved to do! well i still love all the things i used to do, but i am so limited these days that if i do stuff it is such a restriction, that i feel like i am a prisoner in my own body, :dizzy:it makes me dizzy just thinking about it! as far as getting a second opinion, well i thought of that, it all seems so much work, i know it sounRAB weird but its true, having to explain it all over again, doing physical therapy again, to think that years ago, i thought this was though and thought it could not get any worse to now thinking i am and feel sooooo alone with this issue!!!!!!!!!!! wow.....
i did have a ct-scan done about a month ago, and here are the results of that, which i hope someone could tell me what it really means, here it goes::
THERE IS DISK DESICCATION AT L5-S1.
AT THE T12-L1 through L4-L5 levels, no abnormality is noted.
AT THE L5-S1, level central left Paracentral disk protrusion is noted.
slight displacement on the left traversing S1 nerve root.
there is slight ligamentum flavum and facet hypertrophy. there is mild foraminal narrowing.
at the L5-S1 level, central and left paracentral disk protrusion is noted which may touch and slightly displace the left traversing S1 nerve root.
so whatever this means, i would love to hear the translation of these results!
can anyone help???? thank you so much! XO
