My Muslim Husband checks my email and chat history he considers that his...

T

Tarre

New member
...right,I feel distrusted and invaded? My Muslim Husband checks my email and chat history he considers that his right,I feel distrusted and invaded?
Does he have the right to check my email and history files?Should I have the right to chat with members of the opposite sex if its just a casual hello,or small talk?Is this a sign of control?I know my husband has major trust issues with me,I love him so much and hes a good man but he is ultra possessive and investigates me like a detective all the time,he even plays psychological games on me to get me to confess his falsely misconstrued suspicions.Is it his Islamic right to invade my right to privacy?Does Islam teach that women are not allowed to go online to chat?especially after marriage?Does Islam teach that all male and female friendships are Ha ram?(forbidden).I am so confused,trying to understand Islam and my husbands upbringing.
 
OK.. this is JUST my opinion. I wasn't raised muslim, I do not know how others were raised, and likely it varies from person to person anyway. Even those born and raised in Islam differ at times in right and wrong.

I would say while I think it is definitely wrong some of the things you describe... when it comes to chatting with members of the opposite sex, honestly, I would want my own husband to be able to view this and I would also want to be able to view his chats and e-mails as well.

Unless it's a family member I'm talking to, I would more than happy to let my husband read through them, whenever he wanted. Granted, I would expect him to be courteous enough to do so openly and not behind my back, but I would have no problem with it.

I wouldn't want him to ever be suspicious. And honestly, if he is chatting or e-mailing casual female friends, I feel I would be suspicious as well if he felt it was his business only. I wouldn't play psychological games with him, or check behind his back to see what he was up to... but I would expect him to show me himself those chat records and e-mails in a gesture of being open and honest with me.

I think it is wrong he is invading your privacy in this manner. However, if he were to ask you to show him these things on your own.. would you be willing to do so? If you would, maybe just have a conversation with him about doing things in a more upfront and honest way with each other. If not, can't you kind of see where that might lead him to be a little suspicious? If you put yourself in his shoes, you might be able to see why he would be worried.

However.. I also think you have the same rights as he does as far as the openess and honesty. He should have no problem doing for you what you do for him. If he has a problem with that.. then maybe it's time you two go seek some professional or religious help in resolving things.
 
He needs help!

Muhammed Saw would have known how to treat a woman so she would get off said but and move her butt closer to him!
 
Sounds like he's got low self-esteem issues.

He needs counseling...seriously.

You can't have a healthy marriage without mutual respect and trust.
 
Tarre is that you? Get off the computer you lazy good for nothing woman and serve me some halal chicken.
 
This is a complicated question. When I read it as I was scrolling down the list of open questions on the page, I only saw the headline in bold and then it seemed very cut and dry. But it isn't. He's not just checking your chat history because he's a control freak, he's checking it because you're talking to men. May I ask why you are talking to men if you're married? Maybe Muslim men are more controlling, but you seem to be giving him reason to want to look. Anyway you married a Muslim man. So you should have been prepared to deal with his culture. You should know that in his culture he's not going to want you to chat with men. So if you care about your marriage, why don't you just stop?
 
one thing you SHOULD NOT do is erase or hide your chat logs as some IDIOT has mentioned on here. That would be the dumbest thing to do given the situation.

from now on everything you do, should have a record, so your husband can see. If you are chatting with men and are unwilling to show your husband what you are chatting with them about, then you are asking for trouble yourself. duh.

its pretty obvious you are not very mature for a married woman, but hey, life is a learning experience. can't have everything and maturity is a quality like looks, wealth, intelligence, health and whatever. you get some, you miss some.

culturally speaking, it is VERY IMPORTANT for a muslim woman to seek the approval of her husband in the kind of company she keeps. This has even been mentioned in the "Last sermon of the Prophet" which is really not that long a talk to begin with. That is how serious this type of matter is in the stability of a marriage that it has made its way even into the Sermon.
 
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